In the Olden Days, the Uterus cavorted with the fairies in rivers of wine and Midol, trying to hug people and making gutteral noises like Cookie Monster. But as society advanced people abandoned the old ways. They started taking Seasonique and the Uterus began to fade. But if we all believe in her real hard, she’ll return to grant us cramps and mood swings. So close your eyes and believe like you’ve never believed before. But if a little poop comes out, ease up. You’re believing too hard.

This claims to be a uterus vase, but isn’t it really the best place ever to store your tampons? Duh.