This is the perfect blindfold for the next time a hipster feels like raping Mr. Magoo. Technically, it’s a sleep-mask pillow combo. In practice, it’s profoundly disturbing and “reversible for your freshness.” Luckily for us all, it comes with step-by-step instructions. Though, it seems to be missing step 4 – pull over nose and mouth to suffocate because you are a dicktard.