Once upon a time there was a beautiful, obscene princess named Tracy Sunrize Johnson who used her magical computer to explore the world that exists outside of her hangover. One day, while trolling the pits of internet Hell, she fell in e-love with an evil witch named Krista. The obscene princess and the witch formed a co-dependent friendship that involved much Scratching of Each Other’s Backs.

Tracy Sunrize Johnson sent her new life partner a care package (including a love letter of epic proportions, with sentiments like “You thought this day would never come, but who feels like a fucking jerk now?” and “Hope you’re well, or at least avoiding the swine flu/clap.”) filled with books for their as-yet-unborn children, and Krista the Evil Witch told her faithful readership about the awesomeness of said books, and also of Tracy’s Mad Magical Design And Et Cetera Skillz.

Then one day, Evil Witch Krista got tired of typing in fairy tale format, and instead decided to just post pictures of her cats reading and/or eating the books. So, that’s this part.

Here is three-legged Mae Crashenburn, learning how to slice you up with her words instead of just her claws by reading  L is for Lollygag.

And here is fifteen-pound fatty Ruby A-Go-Go eating the cuteness of  The Kittens of Boxville, because she’s also kind of Jordan Cat-alano. (She can’t read, dig?).

And then this is the end. The End.