Monday, January 11, 2010

Testes Kitchen: Happy Holigays

The Testes Kitchen documents boys in their pursuit of culinary excellence. It also gives me an excuse to make gay jokes.

Now that the housing market is picking back up, gingerbread houses are in high off-season demand. My brother and his husband live in New York, meaning they don’t have billions of dollars to spare on actual gingerbread houses, so they talked to their realtor and instead invested their hard-earned couch change in the graham cracker market.

They headed out into their ‘hood Sesame Street style (Oooh, maybe 227 style. That was a good show.) to see what the neighborhood was lacking, and discovered there was nary a gay club or outhouse on the whole block. But after some blood, sweat and queers, that problem was remedied to the maximum.


The steps to making these graham cracker houses are simple:

1. Buy stuff.

2. Be gay.

3. Frosting = glue.

4. Dick jokes = funny

Voila! A delicious new family tradition to be enjoyed by you and your adopted and/or surrogate-produced offspring for years to come.

7 Responses to “Testes Kitchen: Happy Holigays”

  1. Michael says:

    I definitely need to remember this for next year. Did they improvise the mushroom gumdrops and if so, how?

  2. Krista says:

    Apparently they bought them that way. And, clearly, they look like penises, so it was a perfect addition to the gay club.

  3. Michael says:

    Well kudos to their candy shop. It adds a nice bit of flair to their festively decorated club. And am I crazy or is one of the buildings an outhouse? There seems to be a moon on the door. Or a penis. It’s hard to tell.

  4. Sarah says:

    Shouldn’t the outhouse have a Glory Hole?

  5. Ryan says:

    They are *NEW* Sour puckerooms gummies from Wonka. They are supposed to be mushrooms!

  6. Krista says:

    No doy, it’s an outhouse. It also has a noose made out of Twizzlers on the back.

  7. Michael says:

    Puckerooms you say… I may have to go find some. When it comes to candy I’m kind of a new product whore. Ah sweet, sweet diabetes here I come.

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