I’ve never seen a whole episode of Seinfeld, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen all of Star Wars. While you nerds were watching those things, I was at my local YMCA teaching classes in how to be awesome, and also on how to do Jazzercise. It’s all in the hips and the thong leotards.
Anyway, I’m sure one of you losers thinks Seinfeld Wars is amazing, so I offer it up without commentary. Aside from all the commentary that you just read, which you probably couldn’t even concentrate on because you were so busy picturing me in a thong leotard. I looked fantastic, especially because I wore it over my cut-off jorts.
via Tricia Trash
I’m 99.9% sure that I was with you when you watched Star Wars in high school, so don’t go acting all cool!
I’m 99.9% sure I was black-out drunk all through high school, so you may very well be correct, Sir.