This is enormous, but you, too, can have a smaller man-shaped herb garden if you just do it your damn self. Simply decide which herbs to grow, trace out the shape of a person, and plant them in the ground. It’s cute, easy, and results in a charming garden sure to impress the people who pretend they’re your friends just so they can watch American Idol on your flatscreen TV.

Fun tip: For the ideal “man shape,” scrape away the top layer of soil until the remains of your probation officer are just under the surface. Pat the dirt firm so you get a corpse relief, then trace the body shape with a pick ax. Easy!