We Southerners love our bold, straight-talk sayings as much cowgirls love pantyliners with extended wings. That’s why I’m thrilled to hear that at Subversive Cross Stitch you can mail-order a new cross stitch pattern book featuring Southern sayings like “Mean as a snake” that you can make your damn self. Of course, a few of my personal favorites didn’t make the cut. Like, “I’m not retarded, I’m just lazy,” and the oh-so-popular, “I can’t think while I’m hating you: please die.” Oh, I don’t want give short-shrift to “I’m mostly dead inside.” And my mom would kill me if I left out “Where’s the beef?”