I told my last man-friend that I wanted a trip to Paris for Valentine’s Day. Instead, he got me this Eiffel Tower broom. Yeah. Paris, Paris icon-shaped broom? Same dif. Just like being sedated and operated upon with a surgical blade is the same as me duct taping you to the floor and going after you with a rusty cheese grater. What? You’re the one who wanted a vasectomy.
PS – All of that is a lie. I hate fucking Valentine’s Day.
I cannot articulate how much I detest those pirate boots. Relevant, I know.
They are pretty piratey. I’m not really sure why she’s in the picture it just proves how short the broom is.