I want Judy Paul’s Tiger River print for the empty wall space above my bed. See, the tiger is a metaphor. Sure, it says that I’m a wild cat in the sack, but much like a tiger I can also spend up to eighteen hours sleeping, I eat mostly meat but will occasionally enjoy vegetation for fiber, and that I made my first kill at around 18 months of age.
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Well you should have it then! Send me your address and I’ll send you a print, it is guaranteed to get you laid or eaten or both within one week after he’s hung.
So what you’re saying is, as long as he’s hung I get laid? That sounds about right.
In all seriousness, this offer makes my life. Hurray for well-decorated walls! Everyone: go buy thousands of dollars worth of Judy Paul’s art, post-haste.