The Zig Zag bookshelf makes me wanna Zig-a-zig-ah. I think owning it would probably Spice Up My Life. It should be easy to find it because I’ll just Let Love Lead the Way.

Fine, fuck it. No matter how desperately I wanna be a gay man, I’ll never be issued my Gay Card if I can’t even write a post based on Spice Girls Songs. I’ll just have to stick to being a dumb old hetero woman with the rage of a bull dyke, the rack of Amanda Lepore, and jeans-button imprints in my stomach from eating too much Mexican food at lunch.