For you newbies, Testes Kitchen is an old-school BHG segment featuring men and their kitchen experiments. If you have a penis and a penchant for cooking, we’d love to feature you. Drop us a line.
Last weekend we decided to make our own mozzarella. We who? Why, my brother and me, of course. He’s the classy gentleman partially pictured above. Yep, being disgusting is an inherited trait.
Dan picked up a cheese kit from Austin Homebrew and a gallon of whole milk and we got to work making the kitchen completely uninhabitable for my sister-in-law, Amber, who, as always, tolerated our mess and Beavis-style laughter with the grace of Jackie O.
As the kit promised, making cheese was pretty simple, mostly involving waging chemical war on milk with rennet and citric acid and using every bowl in the house.
Once it heats, the milk only takes a few minutes to begin forming curds.
Which you scoop out of the whey (an alien-slime looking liquid) and microwave…
Before handling-up on some serious cheese ball.
While Dan handled the chemistry portion of the dinner, I baked what is now my favorite bread recipe – James Beard’s French Loaf – which (and I have to make a weewee joke here, this is Testes Kitchen) really rose to the occasion.
It has a creamy crumb that makes it perfect for eating alone or dipped in olive oil. We ate both loaves that night.
Along with our mozzarella, which we sliced and marinated in herbed oil to add some extra flavor (far left of photo). It was all pretty delicious. Make your own mozzarella experiment: success.