I hate Mondays. Even when they’re Tuesdays. I walked into the office this morning, and the tap water was literally running red. And since the water was red and I was really thirsty, naturally, I converted to Satanism. Now I have a golden bottle of Ozarka’s finest and Satan has a severed cow head and a shiny new advertising creative soul. So, really, just the cow head.
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The water in the kitchen was running green. What the fuck kind of Ancient Indian Burial Ground are we dealing with here?
If the office is a portal into hell, do we get the day off?