How hard can it be to make a lego table? I think you can do it your damn self as long as you have enough legos to complete the task. Of course, you won’t want to ruin that dumpy, rode-hard-and-put-away-wet figure by actually birthing a baby of your own in order to have a reason procure said legos, so you’ll have to make the table the easy way. Here’s how:
1. Get extremely drunk on shots of bourbon and cans of Strongbow.
2. Drive home from your bar of choice, taking extra care to leave your headlights off.
3. Immediately get pulled over for drunk driving.
4. Get thrown in jail with a room full of handsy frat boys and a Guatemalan prostitute. Make jokes about the size of her sink hole.
5. Appear before the judge in the morning, preferably while still drunk.
6. Get sentenced to 1,000 hours of community service.
7. Perform community service at the day care of your local church.
8. Steal all the legos in the play room from the grubby, greedy little babies.
9. Uh… make a table out of them.
gimme a break
Easy-peasy, super-sleazy.
gimme a break
