When I came home last night, this is what I found in Ralph’s bowl. His bloated bag-of-grapes brain seemed to be growing neurons that attached to the bowl. The first step, no doubt, in his quest for kitchen, and later world, domination.

Fortunately, I caught him just in time and quickly lobotomized him with a spoon, per the instructions.

This didn’t smell as bad as it looks. It actually just smelled like yeast smells when you’re making bread. That red stuff is just the liquid that formed on top of the culture. The culture was a white goo on the bottom. So it was time to start feeding Ralph. He has to be fed flour and water three times a day for the rest of our lives. It’s like I got drunk and woke up with a smelly Vegas husband.

Might as well make the most of it, I suppose. He cleans up pretty good, right?