Do you ever wonder why people have kids? They’re expensive, smelly and most of them are jerks. The answer: remotes. As we age, our ability to afford complicated remotes rises dramatically while our ability to work said remotes diminishes at an equal rate. It’s a true fact. I saw it scribbled in a back issue of Scientific American once. So, as we’re sitting on the couch furiously mashing the tiny remote buttons with our potato chip greased fingers, we naturally experience the overwhelming urge to reproduce. Ten years later, we get a selfish, sticky-fingered midget who can finally help navigate the On Demand section. Thankfully, someone has invented an incredibly complicated remote that looks like it doubles as an incredibly complicated diaphragm… which solves exactly zero of the problems listed above.