Don’t let the lingering summer heat beat the alcoholism out of you. When your liver is crying out for some delicious frosty abuse, tasty Champagne Slushies are the perfect treat. And this handy step-by-step guide makes them as easy as 1, 2, 3! Uh… 4. There are four steps, so suck it.
Step 1: You don’t have a clue how to cook, so there’s plenty of room in your freezer to put a bottle of champagne for quick chilling while you and your boyfriend watch Mad Men and drink a bottle of red wine. Just find a place near the brick-solid Lean Gourmet that’s been wedged in the corner for at least two years.
Step 2: Forget you put the bottle in there so that it explodes all over the place, narrowly missing the (also 2 year old) can of lemonade concentrate from your favorite food group: Mixers.
Step 3: Using an ice cream scoop, form small champagne snowballs. If you want to follow my recipe exactly, you’ll need to drop most of this on the floor, cursing liberally because you JUST cleaned the goddamn floors, goddammit. Stupid fucking blog.
Step 4: Garnish with a bendy straw and serve your Champagne Slushies in a commemorative “Erin and Josh, April 2003″ wedding champagne flute and a 24 carat gold-rimmed brandy snifter that you may or may not have stolen from your parents’ house. Don’t invite guests; these cocktails are elegant enough to offset the tackiness of double fisting.
Voila! Pair your gourmet cocktails with a gourmet meal and dinner is served!
Totally badass, both the recipe and that we are now famous. We have so many if those glasses still that all new years eve participants drink out of them. It does make for a good reminder of when our anniversary is….
Damn, you really outdid yourself with this one! Cheers!!
Dear Krista’s Kitchen Korner:
Let’s say I don’t have a “Josh and Erin, April 2003” champagne flute and all of my allegedly stolen brandy snifters are in an evidence locker somewhere; would it be déclassé to simply put the snowballs directly into one’s mouth?
(PS – “favorite food group: Mixers” = YAAAAYYY)
Erin, I actually collected five from family and friends after the wedding because I thought it would be awesome to have a matched set of six glasses from someone else’s wedding. AND I WAS RIGHT.
Julie, thanks! I love it when my severe stupidity leads directly to blog posts.
Barking Monkey, you can even skip the ice cream scoop and just shove your face directly into the freezer door. Saves time and looks really, really cool.