I thought this was an under-the-bed freezer and I was like, “Yes, easy access to my Klondike Bars at last.” But it’s actually an under-the-bed gun locker with a 105 gun capacity. I can think of at least five scenarios which require 105 guns in the bedroom. Weirdly enough they all end with you getting your penis shot off.





Eff that noise. I’m not sacrificing my box springs, just so I can have the inconvenience of pushing my mattress off to access my guns. That’s why I’ve converted a body pillow into a soft gun case and put all my other guns in my closet/gun safe. I lovingly cradle that pillow every night as I dream of shootin’ commies. WOLVERINES!!!!!
Man, you must be a crack shot