Thursday, May 17, 2012

On the Other Side of Offense

I’m not gonna lie, folks. I have absolutely zero clue what’s going on with this doormat. I was just innocently shopping for a doormat on Amazon.com at 1 AM while drunk and found this thing. By the way, it somehow sold out between then and now. Go figure. Anyways, what’s the gag? Is this a dick joke? Why is the grass greener under something where it should be getting no sun and therefor dying? Is the dog also a UV lamp? If this is about your penis, is your penis really tiny or see through? Is your misshapen anatomy really something to be shared with the innocent UPS guy who has to deliver your bucket of hemorrhoid salve every month? Hasn’t he suffered enough?

2 Responses to “On the Other Side of Offense”

  1. Dog urine tends to kill grass. Mainly cause it’s high in salt and if one dog pees there EVERY dog HAS to pee there. This is one confusing doormat.

    On a doormat related note, know where I could get a custom door mat? I want one the says “Snail Jamboree / 10pm-6am” and has an arrow pointing left. There were 50 snails right outside our front porch last night. They were having a grand ole time last night, and then in the morning there were still half a dozen still partying on.

  2. Sarah says:

    Funny, there was a snail jamboree on the side of my old apartment building. I used to walk the dog by every morning so that I could watch them rub their slime on stuff.

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