Monday, May 21, 2012

You Can’t Do Her On Television

This week on Everybody Loves Raymond:

Raymond: “Honey, I’m home.”

Waits, but there’s no answer…

Raymond: “Why is there never anyone here to appreciate me and bring me a beer?”

Laugh track

Raymond’s Bitchy Wife: “Are you back, again? I was upstairs spending your money on sachets and hideous old lady underwear you can’t unfasten.”

Laugh track

Raymond: ”Good news. I got this Stamina Pillow with an ugly lady on it. She’s like my worst nightmare so I can do you for even more seconds that one time a year you begrudgingly let me sex in your vagina.”

Oooooooooo track

Raymond’s Bitchy Wife: “You want to know my worst nightmare? Longer sex with you. I’m going to go kill myself”

Laugh track

2 Responses to “You Can’t Do Her On Television”

  1. Let’s hope it’s a murder-suicide.

  2. Sarah says:

    Amen.

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