This week on Everybody Loves Raymond:
Raymond: “Honey, I’m home.”
Waits, but there’s no answer…
Raymond: “Why is there never anyone here to appreciate me and bring me a beer?”
Laugh track
Raymond’s Bitchy Wife: “Are you back, again? I was upstairs spending your money on sachets and hideous old lady underwear you can’t unfasten.”
Laugh track
Raymond: ”Good news. I got this Stamina Pillow with an ugly lady on it. She’s like my worst nightmare so I can do you for even more seconds that one time a year you begrudgingly let me sex in your vagina.”
Oooooooooo track
Raymond’s Bitchy Wife: “You want to know my worst nightmare? Longer sex with you. I’m going to go kill myself”
Laugh track
Let’s hope it’s a murder-suicide.
Amen.