Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The Old College Try

Why say with your mouth what you can say with a pennant? Hatefulness is 18% more impactful on a pennant. Everyone knows that.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Lil’ Fuckers: Wipeout

I hope this felt shark likes skidmarked underwear because if he lives at your house, that’s what he’s gettin’.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Sip Up on This, Fart

If you’ve ever suspected that your parents screwed you and your name is longer than five letters, it’s officially official. They did. Krazystraws are personalized straws that can say anything you want under five characters. Silver lining? ALL the four letter words fit.  Even ‘pube.’

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Full Power

My iPhone charger is so boring and dumb. But not for long. Introducing Whooz, one more gimmick-y piece of crap I don’t need, but will probably buy.  At first I was like, “Oh wow, $12.95? That’s cheap.” Then I realized it’s just for a sheet of stickers, but then I thought about it some more and realized these are actually useful. Haven’t you ever been near another iPhone or MacTop and thought, “Well fuck, is this my cord?” And now you’ll know, “No, no, this isn’t mine. Mine’s the one with the cinnamon muff.”

Monday, December 10, 2012


I finally plucked the last of my Fu Manchu. Movember’s over, but apparently, not forgotten. This holiday season get your very own Bauballs, testicles for the tree. Is it just me or does this look more like a big juicy butt than a set of nuts?

via BuzzFeed

Thursday, November 29, 2012


I heard that every time you burn toast a kitten masturbates, but that can’t be true. Can it?

Domo Toaster, $40

via Incredible Things!

Monday, November 12, 2012

The Pen Is Mightier

Thank goodness this says “bitches” because if it said “male equivalent of bitches” it’d be way too small. I’d need at least three times that much space to list all the people I’m gonna holla at… We are talking about people we’re going to yell at because they suck, right?

Thursday, November 1, 2012

DIYDS: The Ghost with The Most…Rage

Halloween was Wednesday, but minus a prescription for Seasonique, your period haunts you (and all those idiots you know) once a month. So if now is your time — OMG, MINE TOO WE ARE LIKE SO SYNCED UP — make this and celebrate the joys of crying at reruns of Reba.

via Tampon Crafts, an entire blog dedicated to crafting with tampons

Sunday, September 23, 2012

A Side of Comfy

This Handmade Baked Potato Bean Bag Chair with Butter Pat Pillow is only $200. I know what you’re thinking, “Money doesn’t grow on trees, wench.” And maybe it doesn’t, but seriously is the name calling necessary?

Friday, September 14, 2012

It’s a Jungle In Here

I’ve seen a ton of porcelain heads in my time, but never one like this. Seriously. No lion*.

*It’s sad how proud I am of that.

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