Friday, July 12, 2013

Lil’ Fuckers: Wipeout

I hope this felt shark likes skidmarked underwear because if he lives at your house, that’s what he’s gettin’.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The Bitter End

If you melted away my outsides you’d find two dusty ovaries and a bottle of Heinz vinegar, but if you melt away this cat candle you’ll find a metal skeleton of amazement…and hopefully tetanus.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Spot the Problem

This incredibly realistic leopard stair runner is a great way to teach your kids fun leopard facts. For example, leopards are the best climbers of all the big cats, they begin learning to climb trees at 3 to 4 months old and they can easily drape around the branches because they’re flimsy goo-filled skin sacks born completely devoid of organs or bones.

 

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Batty

Scare the shit out of your potato chips with these Spooky Bat Pegs*. Or do it the old fashioned way — show them your bare thighs.

*It’s a British thang. Here in Texas we call them chip clips. Over in San Fran, they call them nip clips.

Friday, September 14, 2012

It’s a Jungle In Here

I’ve seen a ton of porcelain heads in my time, but never one like this. Seriously. No lion*.

*It’s sad how proud I am of that.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Bitches and Pussies: Doggy Queen

I’m not using Treat Stick for my non-existent dog. I’m using it for myself. Just as soon as I figure out how to get two Oreo Cheesequake Blizzards up in that bitch.

Doenicula

Etsy: Purveyors of all things “awwwwwwwwwww.” And also¬†this. I think this thing may start a new decorating trend. I’m calling it Log Cabin-Goth.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Also, Tastier Nuts

Looks like somebody finally dethroned John Madden for Biggest Head in the Goddamned World.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

What a Prick

Plywerk takes your photos and mounts them on sustainably harvested wood. Hmmm…your face mounted on wood? Sounds like just another Saturday night. And by “your face” I mean this porcupine. He or she is a total slut.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Ruff

Yep, you need buy this print. And while we’re on the subject of your needs, a mustache wax wouldn’t kill you either.

via Nancy the Desk Topper Drawer

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