I’ve seen a lot of dog hats in my day (most of them on your girlfriend), but this is by far the cutest. A hand-knit Carmen Miranda hat for your pug…or human baby…or butt. They’re all pretty much the same thing, right?
This Japanese robot pillow pokes snorers in the face to get them to shift to their sides. Three questions. Why is it shaped like a polar bear? Does it come in a version for female snorers where the polar bear wakes you up by poking your face with his boner instead of his hand? Because that’s what we’re used to. And who programmed it to call your mom on speaker phone every time you masturbate? Oh, yeah. That last one was me.
This is called a Memory Bank and it’s made to store things of sentimental value, not monetary value. Like love notes, ticket stubs and all those condom wrappers from your first ever gang bang. All together now, “Awwww…”
Have we talked about this Golden Rhino before? It’s kind of like the Golden Goose, but those aren’t eggs he lays. They’re dumps. That’s right, for $35 this thing will crap gold all over your Corian. Of course I’m a big fat liar and it totally won’t, but please know that in my mind — he just did.
I’m not gonna lie, folks. I have absolutely zero clue what’s going on with this doormat. I was just innocently shopping for a doormat on Amazon.com at 1 AM while drunk and found this thing. By the way, it somehow sold out between then and now. Go figure. Anyways, what’s the gag? Is this a dick joke? Why is the grass greener under something where it should be getting no sun and therefor dying? Is the dog also a UV lamp? If this is about your penis, is your penis really tiny or see through? Is your misshapen anatomy really something to be shared with the innocent UPS guy who has to deliver your bucket of hemorrhoid salve every month? Hasn’t he suffered enough?
I hear this dresser only goes out with much younger bookshelves… Well fuck, I just googled “cougar” and it turns out they ain’t gots no spots. Judges ruling? Incorrect joke post stands. Court adjourned.
[Badder Homes and Gardens] had me laughing uproariously, and totally wishing I could say half of what they say. Be forewarned that if you are offended by cursing... then take my advice and forget I even mentioned it. But if you like your snark pretty offensive with a little dash of design, read it and weep.
Badder Homes and Gardens is maintained by three whip-smart Texas gals [who have] a great collective eye for clever art and design, and a knack for describing beauty with bathroom humor, which is no easy feat.
The stereotype of the good housewife is old. Enter Badder Homes and Gardens. Their tips are more likely to make life hilarious than to get you a parent of the year award. If you’ve ever gotten nauseous watching Martha Stewart, then this delightfully sarcastic—yet still useful—site is for you.