If you melted away my outsides you’d find two dusty ovaries and a bottle of Heinz vinegar, but if you melt away this cat candle you’ll find a metal skeleton of amazement…and hopefully tetanus.

These are called wall tears and I suspect it’s because they suck so bad they actually made an inanimate object weep. Hell, even I cried and I’m at least 10% animate. On a good day. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves…

Halloween was Wednesday, but minus a prescription for Seasonique, your period haunts you (and all those idiots you know) once a month. So if now is your time — OMG, MINE TOO WE ARE LIKE SO SYNCED UP — make this and celebrate the joys of crying at reruns of Reba.

via Tampon Crafts, an entire blog dedicated to crafting with tampons

There’s a fine line between creative genius and homicidal psychosis, and that line is BFA diploma viewed from the side while it’s laying on a table. There’s also a fine line between blogging and being investigated by the FBI, and that line is a Google search bar that’s constantly populated by the words “Ed Gein human skin lamp.”

I can’t decide if these make me want to decorate for Halloween (time-consuming!) or just go the easy route and get pregnant with “accident-prone” Albino quadruplets.

I’ve seen a ton of porcelain heads in my time, but never one like this. Seriously. No lion*.

*It’s sad how proud I am of that.

I never learned how to play dominoes. Honestly, who had the time? Even as a child I had a lot of revenges to plot. I’m just saying, walk off with my red felt tip pen once and it’s a mistake you won’t make again.

Disco isn’t dead. It’s just been hiding in the bathroom for the last 40 years after being swatted with a newspaper for doing it’s business on the family room rug. Wait. Did you just hear something? Disco, if you’re in the trash again … so help me God I will turn the vacuum loose on you!

Plywerk takes your photos and mounts them on sustainably harvested wood. Hmmm…your face mounted on wood? Sounds like just another Saturday night. And by “your face” I mean this porcupine. He or she is a total slut.

Yep, you need buy this print. And while we’re on the subject of your needs, a mustache wax wouldn’t kill you either.

via Nancy the Desk Topper Drawer