Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Paint by COCK!

This art is so awesome it gives me Tourette’s. motherfuckingshitballs.

via Alan-Alan-Cadabra, He’s gonna reach out and grab ya

Monday, June 11, 2012

Sugar and Spice and All That Shit

If this poster were a little more accurate it would say, “What’s in it for you?” Because let’s face it, no one is ever nice to be nice. Except me. You’re pretty. Can I have a million dollars please? No? Bitch.

 

Friday, June 8, 2012

Cat, Fancy

Pumas shoot crepe paper garlands out of their eyes because they’re not just carnivores… they’re also carnivals.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Criminal Behinds

His biggest crime? Mom jeans.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Just Hanging Around

I found this chair on ffffound. It was re-blogged from a blog called “this isn’t happiness,” but as the proud owner of a trashcan full of these hangers (except in mauve, it was the 1990s, sue me) I assure you, finding a use for those fuckers is just about as happy as it gets.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Song of So Low Man

 

Hey, I sure hate you,

Cuz you’re so lazy,

I’ve got your number:

You’re no Scorsese

 

I know for sure that

Your future’s hazy,

“Deep” thoughts and slumber,

You fucking baby

 

And all the other guys

Have advanced degrees

But you’re encumbered

By Art Star Crazies.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Wishful Thinking

Have we talked about this Golden Rhino before? It’s kind of like the Golden Goose, but those aren’t eggs he lays. They’re dumps. That’s right, for $35 this thing will crap gold all over your Corian. Of course I’m a big fat liar and it totally won’t, but please know that in my mind — he just did.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Siiick

Here are two things that will give you opposite boner:

1. I’m about to slather on some Vicks Vaporub.

2. This leaf sculpture is made entirely of human hair.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Stickmata

Turns out the Holy Spirit entering your body feels exactly like brain freeze.

 

Holy Wine popsicles via my badical brother.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Rhymes With Mulva

And all this time I just thought “Labia Cakes” was a cute nickname from college…

via BuzzFeed and The Dirty Normal who thinks these are the work of Evil Cake Shop

 

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