This lamp puts the “um” in umbilical cord and the FBI wire tap on your landline, and then it puts the “um” on your landline, because who’s still tethered to the wall with a cord? This guy is, my friends. And that’s why it’s called the Circle of Life. (jazz hands.)
This incredibly realistic leopard stair runner is a great way to teach your kids fun leopard facts. For example, leopards are the best climbers of all the big cats, they begin learning to climb trees at 3 to 4 months old and they can easily drape around the branches because they’re flimsy goo-filled skin sacks born completely devoid of organs or bones.
Hold on. Recovering from vomiting after writing that terrible post title. “All your post titles are terrible.” Well, you can go to hell. Be sure to say “hi” to my mom when you get there. Back to this post. It’s about this Jon Hamm coloring book I found via the Etsy Pinterest boards. Love it. Because nothing says “holidays” like a coloring book about a handsome, lushy anti-hero with a burger problem. Except waking up dazed in a strange bed next to a department store Santa. Or a handwritten card that reads, “One free pass for anal.”
Much like a purple nurple, this is a shocking twist: these aren’t actually obscene! Apparently the goal of this crap is to “sublimate the fonction of the object.” Yes, fonction. That’s what is says. I don’t know what the fonction it’s supposed to mean but I think we can all agree that it’s time to change our underpants.
Hey party people! Just putting the finishing touches up for the mega-rager I’m going to be throwing tonight. I’ve got my Feminist Kill Joy banner up, the bras are crackling merrily in the fireplace, and the menstrual relief tea is brewing on the stove. Yep, it’s beginning to feel a lot like Post-Sexism Neo-Socialist Utopia! And don’t you worry about getting bored. I’ve got activities a plenty. First, we’ll be pinning the pubic hair on the vagina(I would have gotten witty with the game name, but using euphemisms for vagina steals our power), then we’ll be pushing real hard until our leg hair grows, and then we’ll be taking back the word “cunt.” Be there or be square whatever shape you want because no one tells you what to do!
There’s a fine line between creative genius and homicidal psychosis, and that line is BFA diploma viewed from the side while it’s laying on a table. There’s also a fine line between blogging and being investigated by the FBI, and that line is a Google search bar that’s constantly populated by the words “Ed Gein human skin lamp.”
There are at least a couple of good reasons not to have a hot tub installed at your home. Number one: it’s not the 70s. But if you just can’t resist the urge to soak in a warm vat of diluted urine and spilled wine coolers, not to fear. The Hot Tug is here. (Hold your applause.) Now you can take your show urinary tract infection on the road white-trash lake to remind your neighbors of the urgent need to circle-circle-dot-dot give themselves a douchebag shot. It a public service, really.
[Badder Homes and Gardens] had me laughing uproariously, and totally wishing I could say half of what they say. Be forewarned that if you are offended by cursing... then take my advice and forget I even mentioned it. But if you like your snark pretty offensive with a little dash of design, read it and weep.
Badder Homes and Gardens is maintained by three whip-smart Texas gals [who have] a great collective eye for clever art and design, and a knack for describing beauty with bathroom humor, which is no easy feat.
The stereotype of the good housewife is old. Enter Badder Homes and Gardens. Their tips are more likely to make life hilarious than to get you a parent of the year award. If you’ve ever gotten nauseous watching Martha Stewart, then this delightfully sarcastic—yet still useful—site is for you.