This book by Amanda Hunt offers “152 ways to seal the deal.” Way number 134? Have a vagina. Number 98? Be Jon Hamm*.

*Sound the stolen joke alarm. I swiped that from SNL.

Finally a plant I can’t kill.  Just kidding!!! That’s why guns exist. I can shoot anything.

Check out this radical art book by Scott Campbell. The forward is by Jack Black so you know what that means — It’s going to be bloated and sweaty. Unless it’s a different Jack Black and then boy is my face red…

Where the pessimist sees a DWI, the optimist sees a chance to accessorize. I can’t see anything. Never let a stray cat lick your eyes.

Step 1: Meet Jerry Sandusky.

Step 2: Drop the soap.

here buy this book

These hand-stitched book cover diaries are so amazing, I literally cannot imagine the time it takes to create something so detailed. I can, however, imagine what it’s like to watch a co-worker fart into a bag, tie it closed and leave it on another co-worker’s desk. Well, not so much “imagine” as “live it.” God bless advertising.

via Kelly “Handstand A Day” Mills

It’s hard to accurately journal your thoughts when you have to end every sentence with a period.

Least Wanted is a book of mugshots, but it’s easy to make a book your damn self. Just grab some paper, a glue stick and start racking up the felonies.

Felony tip #1: Pay for the paper and glue stick with black market human organs.

When I first saw this I was so confused. I was like, “Who stores their butcher knives next to their Agatha Christies?” Then I actually read the description (or more accurately scrolled through the pictures) and figured out it’s a cookbook shelf/knife holder/cutting board multi-tool and that’s when I realized it’s more useful than me. It does three things. I merely do two — write and toot. Wait a second, I eat and sleep, too. Four things!! I do four things!! Eat my ass, Kitchen Bull.

via CMYBacon

In the spirit of this book, I’m going to recycle an old post and just paste in the new name. Isn’t that fun and not at all lazy???

Until I teach my cat to write build things (and I will, we’ve already conquered Backgammon), I’ll have to settle for Other People’s Love Letters 1,000 Ideas for Creative Reuse: Remake, Restyle, Recycle. I hate to be so kind in a blog post, but this is a perfectly charming practical book and if it’s not really your thing, read it anyway and puke on upcycle your keyboard. Then take a picture and send it to me and I’ll puke upcycle my keyboard, too, and we’ll be, like, total VFF UFF (vomit friends forever) (upcycle friends forever).