In the game of “I could so do that,” Mark Rothko is the ultimate winner. Now you really can ‘do it’ by making his cookies and eating them. Oh yeah, I want to eat Mark Rothko’s cookies. It shouldn’t sound dirty, but it does. Now let’s just hope they’re moist. Ewww. Sick.

via CMYBacon

LukeLampCo swears this is DIY Clay Skeet Mason Jar Candleholder is “The Most Manly Gift on etsy.” Well, Luke, clearly you haven’t seen this Scorpius Codpiece and Belt. Exactly.

Normally the only trash I let in my house is the fucking shit that comes out of mouth, but this is really something. Reclaimed wood (re: tetanus heap), a few brush strokes of paint and voila, instant headboard.

I understand the point of this, but I don’t understand the clothespins. Can’t you just stick up those socks with your son’s pubescent jizz?

Here’s a simple way to kill two birds with one do-it-your-damn-self stone. While you’re at The Home Depot picking up a shovel to dig out the yard for this project, go ahead and snag some cement mix. Then while your husband works on this for the kiddoes, you can kill the bitch he’s cheating on you with, pour a pair of cement shoes and toss that whore in the river. A couple hours of labor and you have a sunken trampoline and a sunken tramp. Easy-sleazy!

via the Pinteresting fingers of Sherry from Young House Love

This thing is the business. It’s made entirely of thread and an old Plinko board and if you don’t have one of those lying around, it’s super easy to get one — just let Drew Carey feel you up. Totally worth it.

I recently stumbled across the Partners & Spade shop. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but it looks pretentious so we should totally rip off those 1%ers and their hoity toity designs. Like these $45 salt and pepper shakers. Step 1: steal tiny S&P shakers from your local bistro; Step 2: Steal tiny cars from your local private preschool; Step 3: Glue together; Step 4: Head to your local Occupy Wall Street protest to show off you’re new J. Crew coat. It sounds wrong, but it feel so right.

I love this balloon invitation, but I like the variation that they used at the end of that one movie (I can’t remember the name) for that charming, intimate little gathering out in the country. You know, where they had, like, a scavenger hunt and there was a guessing game?

Oh, that’s right… it was Se7en. That party looked so fun!

via Stephanie Fisher, who didn’t even know it

This link is a how-to on dyeing crepe paper. But it’s only for men, the menopausal, the prepubescent, or anyone anyone else who doesn’t have a used tampon to unravel.

If you actually need me to explain what this is and how to make it, simply head to your nearest hospital. Tell the nice people in the white coats you want a “vaa-sec-toe-mee” (ladies, tell them you want your “toobs tie-da”). Once the procedure is over, someone will hand you a printout with complete instructions. Happy crafting, y’all!