Curbly has figured out a way to turn an empty lotion bottle into a charger basket for your cell phone. You know what this means. “Fapping is the gateway to Etsy success?” No, stupid. The Littles are going to have to fashion some sort of grappling hook out of stripped twist ties and dental floss if they ever want to play their precious Angry Birds again.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
They call this “Fairies in a Jar,” but I think we both know it’s just a Lisa Frank urine specimen. That lady literally pisses glitter and unicorns. Yes. Unicorns. Her vaginal walls are lined with gumdrops so she doesn’t feel a thing.
Apparently, the glitter image is false and this one is more accurate. Sorry to burst your bubble, but at least I saved it for the footnote.
Monday, February 20, 2012
It’s nice to see that Urban Outfitters has stopped stealing product ideas from independent designers…and started stealing them from New Girl. Next week I fully expect to find Eye of the Tiger by the Austin Handbell Ensemble on neon pink vinyl and the sexy Santa suit on store shelves. Fingers crossed. Especially about that last one. Oh, PS, in case you are remedial, you can totally make a douchebag jar your damn self with a Sharpie and – wait for it -
Hell, use a Marks-a-lot for all I care. Oh, and if you are unclear on the purpose of the jar, be sure to check out UO’s handy how-to video.
Friday, February 17, 2012
The sweetest, sweetest thing anyone can do on Valentine’s Day is murder your enemies, but the next sweetest thing is this — using effeminate hands to turn an ice dispenser into a candy machine. Awww, but seriously, why does this guy’s girlfriend like such crappy candy? Where them G. Bears at???
Sunday, February 5, 2012
For this post, I’m just drafting off MadeByGirl. Yeah, blog drafting, that’s a thing…. But seriously look at how freaking cool these floating cabinets are and guess where they’re from? Ikea. All she did was added a stained piece of wood on top and some fancy pants-y hardware. My mass-manufactured, plussed-up-with-custom-accessories hat’s off to you, MadeByGirl, you magnificent son-of-a-bitch.
Friday, January 13, 2012
In the game of “I could so do that,” Mark Rothko is the ultimate winner. Now you really can ‘do it’ by making his cookies and eating them. Oh yeah, I want to eat Mark Rothko’s cookies. It shouldn’t sound dirty, but it does. Now let’s just hope they’re moist. Ewww. Sick.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Normally the only trash I let in my house is the fucking shit that comes out of mouth, but this is really something. Reclaimed wood (re: tetanus heap), a few brush strokes of paint and voila, instant headboard.
Monday, December 12, 2011
I understand the point of this, but I don’t understand the clothespins. Can’t you just stick up those socks with your son’s pubescent jizz?
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Here’s a simple way to kill two birds with one do-it-your-damn-self stone. While you’re at The Home Depot picking up a shovel to dig out the yard for this project, go ahead and snag some cement mix. Then while your husband works on this for the kiddoes, you can kill the bitch he’s cheating on you with, pour a pair of cement shoes and toss that whore in the river. A couple hours of labor and you have a sunken trampoline and a sunken tramp. Easy-sleazy!