Curbly has figured out a way to turn an empty lotion bottle into a charger basket for your cell phone. You know what this means. “Fapping is the gateway to Etsy success?” No, stupid. The Littles are going to have to fashion some sort of grappling hook out of stripped twist ties and dental floss if they ever want to play their precious Angry Birds again.
They call this “Fairies in a Jar,” but I think we both know it’s just a Lisa Frank urine specimen. That lady literally pisses glitter and unicorns. Yes. Unicorns. Her vaginal walls are lined with gumdrops so she doesn’t feel a thing.
Apparently, the glitter image is false and this one is more accurate. Sorry to burst your bubble, but at least I saved it for the footnote.
It’s nice to see that Urban Outfitters has stopped stealing product ideas from independent designers…and started stealing them from New Girl. Next week I fully expect to find Eye of the Tiger by the Austin Handbell Ensemble on neon pink vinyl and the sexy Santa suit on store shelves. Fingers crossed. Especially about that last one. Oh, PS, in case you are remedial, you can totally make a douchebag jar your damn self with a Sharpie and – wait for it -
asdfdas
a jar.
sfgdfg
Hell, use a Marks-a-lot for all I care. Oh, and if you are unclear on the purpose of the jar, be sure to check out UO’s handy how-to video.
The sweetest, sweetest thing anyone can do on Valentine’s Day is murder your enemies, but the next sweetest thing is this — using effeminate hands to turn an ice dispenser into a candy machine. Awww, but seriously, why does this guy’s girlfriend like such crappy candy? Where them G. Bears at???
For this post, I’m just drafting off MadeByGirl. Yeah, blog drafting, that’s a thing…. But seriously look at how freaking cool these floating cabinets are and guess where they’re from? Ikea. All she did was added a stained piece of wood on top and some fancy pants-y hardware. My mass-manufactured, plussed-up-with-custom-accessories hat’s off to you, MadeByGirl, you magnificent son-of-a-bitch.
In the game of “I could so do that,” Mark Rothko is the ultimate winner. Now you really can ‘do it’ by making his cookies and eating them. Oh yeah, I want to eat Mark Rothko’s cookies. It shouldn’t sound dirty, but it does. Now let’s just hope they’re moist. Ewww. Sick.
Normally the only trash I let in my house is the fucking shit that comes out of mouth, but this is really something. Reclaimed wood (re: tetanus heap), a few brush strokes of paint and voila, instant headboard.
Here’s a simple way to kill two birds with one do-it-your-damn-self stone. While you’re at The Home Depot picking up a shovel to dig out the yard for this project, go ahead and snag some cement mix. Then while your husband works on this for the kiddoes, you can kill the bitch he’s cheating on you with, pour a pair of cement shoes and toss that whore in the river. A couple hours of labor and you have a sunken trampoline and a sunken tramp. Easy-sleazy!
[Badder Homes and Gardens] had me laughing uproariously, and totally wishing I could say half of what they say. Be forewarned that if you are offended by cursing... then take my advice and forget I even mentioned it. But if you like your snark pretty offensive with a little dash of design, read it and weep.
Badder Homes and Gardens is maintained by three whip-smart Texas gals [who have] a great collective eye for clever art and design, and a knack for describing beauty with bathroom humor, which is no easy feat.
The stereotype of the good housewife is old. Enter Badder Homes and Gardens. Their tips are more likely to make life hilarious than to get you a parent of the year award. If you’ve ever gotten nauseous watching Martha Stewart, then this delightfully sarcastic—yet still useful—site is for you.
