Should I be worried that the very first thing that popped into my head when I saw this was, “Here I am! Rock me like a Whorey Jane!” Or more worried that the second thing was a really long inner monologue about how her hairstyle is clearly not a Jane hairstyle and more of a Betsy or a Elle? I’m worried. The first thing to pop into my head should have been a deep concern about labial splinters. In the wise words of Dr. Dre, never let me slip cuz if I slip then I’m slippin’. Ya heard?

I love that this is called the Hug Chair and in the lonely people version there’s just a laptop. Which I’m assuming makes it the Jerkin’ Off to Porn Chair.

via umlauttin’ like a motherfucker, brönette

NunoErin’s touch-sensitive furniture let you know which of your friends has butt dimples, which one has wrinkly knee-pits, and which one’s vagina print looks like that alien face on Mars.

The Hermaphrodite chair is the seating equivalent of Taylor Momsen: it looks like a rib cage and it’s designed to be straddled.

via Stephanie Fisher

Doesn’t it look like the thumb from this hand chair shoves straight up your cooter? I’m not asking, kittens. I’m hoping.

via My Favorite and My Best

Locks of Love has finally joined forces with the National Aesthetician Association. Starting today, all pube donations made during your Brazilian wax will be collected to make chairs for the less fortunate.

This chair really keeps you on your toes. Because when you have a chair with the hooves of a goat and the dicks of a small army, you’ll be too terrified to sit down. At least not without some serious lubing. But, hey, maybe a good ole surprise dry ass raping is what it takes for you to unwind at the end of a long day. I’m not here to judge. But most of us get our fill of surprise dry ass rapings at work.

This is called the Bellows Chair, but I think it should be called the Belows Chair. As in “below the belt.” Because I’ll be damned if that doesn’t look like a giant wrinkly foreskin.

When I saw this I thought surely it’s a mistake. Surely that isn’t supposed to be a nipple. But it totally is. It’s actually called The Nipple Chair. Turns out, it’s an old Pam Anderson implant.

This is the Magic Hole Chair. I have exactly zero seconds to write this post, so I’m pretty much just going to yell “MAGIC HOLE!” and then dry-hump the Aeron chair at my desk.