I wouldn’t be caught dead in this coffee table dress. Bitch, please. That’s what my coffin dress is for.

Normally the only trash I let in my house is the fucking shit that comes out of mouth, but this is really something. Reclaimed wood (re: tetanus heap), a few brush strokes of paint and voila, instant headboard.

If you have more than one of these tables, they’re called Octopuses or Octopi or, if you’re going British English, Octopodes. But if you have more than two of these tables, you’re probably just some sort of deranged calamari fucker. Seriously, what’s your damage?

via Alan “Rip Rap a Rippity Rip Rap” McCoy

 The See Saw Table

 Voted “Romantic Table for Two Most Likely to Result in a Murder / Suicide” – Tables Digest

“Perfect for couples teetering on the edge.” – Table Fancy

“The ideal place to split a meal and his scrotum.” - Nard Puncher Daily

This a coffee table that doubles as an aquarium. That way when you and your stoner friends are hanging out in your mom’s basement you’ll have something to look at aside from your Dad’s “Big ‘n Bushy” throwback mags.

via Alan via This Is Why I’m Broke

It’s pretty expensive to commission Stool No. 1.  Luckily you can make Stool No. 2 for the price of a Burrito Supreme.

This time-out chair is absolutely genius. I mean, just look at that huffy, miserable little jerk. The tinge of fear in his eyes comes from his correct assumption that I’m gonna kick that stool out from under him right when the sand runs out. That’s what you get for interrupting Mommy’s drinking games!

Okay, I know Pinterest doesn’t count as a source, but I don’t know where this came from, so deal with it.

This chair is a fart joke waiting to happen, but I’m not going to do that because I am a lady. And everyone knows that ladies make toot jokes…not fart jokes.

via Two Timin’ Beth the Blogger

Kerri and Kippy Strug give these four sprained thumbs up.

via Design Blahg

This folding chair has a lamp attached. Which is coo…eird? Like I think I like it? But I’m not sure? It’s kind of like when your friend shows up in a new pair of glasses, a denim jumper or with a dick sewn to their head.

via CMYBacon