Dry plants? Nothing the log and squirrel pot can’t fix. Every time your green bundle of thorns needs water, the squirrel disappears. Which is great until your dad sees that squirrel pop back up and starts shooting up the patio with his six gauge. What is it with dads and squirrels?
With lace fence, your yard can be as tacky as everything you ever bought from Contempo Casuals. If you happen to have held on to any of that crap, I hear they’re paying top dollar over at Buffalo Exchange.
With the Obama Head Planter all you need for your garden to grow is hope and a lot of change – $125 worth to be exact. Tune in tonight at 6 PM when Obama Planter takes on Zombie Garden Gnome and Decrepit Bird Bath in this election season’s first great debate.
This is called Long Dong Silver which is totally weird because it looks nothing like Clarence Thomas… Please tell me at least some of you remember when he called himself that and put a pube on Anita Hill’s Diet Coke. A pube. On a Diet Coke. Who does that? Oh yeah, Long Dong Silver…
I’m not much for summer. It’s just 120 days of humidity, excruciating heat and bikini related soul-flagellation. But this year I have something to look forward to (other than True Blood). It’s the Amazing Bug Zapper. It uses a battery-powered electrified mesh to destroy bugs in midair. Now I’m off to find out whether or not it works on squirrels.
Fairy Berries are 3/4-inch LED balls that last for 20 hours. Which sucks because it’ll take you at least 21 hours just to put these dumb things up. Do yourself a favor — buy a case of Mountain Dew and steal some children. It’s your only hope.
[Badder Homes and Gardens] had me laughing uproariously, and totally wishing I could say half of what they say. Be forewarned that if you are offended by cursing... then take my advice and forget I even mentioned it. But if you like your snark pretty offensive with a little dash of design, read it and weep.
Badder Homes and Gardens is maintained by three whip-smart Texas gals [who have] a great collective eye for clever art and design, and a knack for describing beauty with bathroom humor, which is no easy feat.
The stereotype of the good housewife is old. Enter Badder Homes and Gardens. Their tips are more likely to make life hilarious than to get you a parent of the year award. If you’ve ever gotten nauseous watching Martha Stewart, then this delightfully sarcastic—yet still useful—site is for you.