If you’ve ever suspected that your parents screwed you and your name is longer than five letters, it’s officially official. They did. Krazystraws are personalized straws that can say anything you want under five characters. Silver lining? ALL the four letter words fit. Even ‘pube.’
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Here, buy this pot of false hopes.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Nothing says ambiance like a nod to crushed, burning corpses. Now if only the manufacturer had the foresight to make these candles scented…
Friday, September 7, 2012
My lifestyle is artsy, my craft friends would agree
So much tape that wrapping paper don’t faze me
Hot glue gun, DIY? Done.
Groupies on my Pinterest for some homemade fun
Craft blog is booming, internet zooming
Known around the web for my sick yarn looming
Martha Stewart’s teacher, DIY feature
Got some raw wool in my pantry waiting for me to bleach her,
Too many thrifts, turned into gifts
Give any crap from Goodwill a supercute facelift
Crease and tape it like a champ, never have to glue it
Cuz wrapping ain’t easy; but somebody gotta do it
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Ewww. Sick. Regular heads are so stupid, but Hip Hop Heads are HOT. Buy these tiny trucker party hats/teenage pregnancy makers and make your head suck less. You can write on them, too. Just be sure to make the “p” in dope backwards. Why? Because it’s not just tits. It’s grandma tits. (They’re so gross they’re cool!)
I mock what I love. I want these so bad it hurtz.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
If you have a cut, you’re going to need these and if you don’t have a cut, call me. It can be arranged.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
I don’t know who you are, pleated-jeans.com, but I know who you’re going to be — the father (or other mother) of my unborn child (or adopted dog).
My favorite thing that could possibly happen with these? Two dicks show up to the same party in the same hat. Can you even imagine?!? And yes, these are actually little chocolate hats for your little…um…penis.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
I just got back from a vacation where I had to wear flip-flops (barf party) every day for a week. Flip-flops aren’t shoes. I felt homeless, just like this stupid flip-flop phone looks homeless. Phone homeless. ET Phone Homeless. The ET stands for Embarrassing Travesty. Also, I left my brain on vacation, did you notice?
Friday, July 20, 2012
Get this cupcake blanket/fleece poncho/mu’umu’u to hide your muffin top. But apparently not your shame.