Thursday, December 22, 2011

The Grinches Are Out

It’s that time of year again. Time for the world’s hottest grinches to pack up our egos and sign-off for 2011. Don’t despair. We have It’s a Wonderful Life marathons, those Courtney Stodden Christmas photos, and after-Christmas shopping to fill our days until we meet again. So…how much whisky will it take to drink myself into a two-week coma?

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Oh, Christmas Tree! How Could You.


 And the baby Jesus was born and they lay him in the manger. The three wise men arrived bearing gifts. Oh, and the freak show / volunteer fire brigade was there, too. Here are the Christmas ornaments you can expect to find on your kooky spinster aunt’s tree this year. And if your holiday spirit and eyes make it through this post, find a ton more disturbing ornaments over at Buzzfeed.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Holidoy: Full Of It

I’m not a huge Gaga fan. I mean, did I once walk to Movie Trading Company to buy a Gaga CD because I couldn’t remember my iTunes password and I needed the CD, like, NOW? Yeah, of course. So does that make me a fan? Whatever. I don’t really like labels. But I do kind of like this Unicorn Stocking that crazy bitch designed for Barneys. In fact, I kind of like the entire Gaga Workshop…but yeah, still not a fan.

DIYDS: All I Want for Christmas is to Die Alone, a Virgin

10 new Star Wars Snowflakes? I didn’t know there were old Star Wars Snowflakes. Because I’m not a sad shut in with a cat named Chewie. So do this your damn self. You can add it to your holiday to-do list. Right after Homemade Fleshlight and Rube Goldberg Suicide Machine.


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Don’t Practice Santa-rrhea

 This Santa doesn’t head down the chimney. He’s more of a back-door guy. Seriously, St. Nick. Timmy said he wanted Hot Wheels Wall Tracks, not a Blumpy.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Wiener Dog

A co-worker sent this to me and said, “Definitely an ornament that knows how to hang.” Mostly because it looks a penis with a pug head. Just wanted to make sure you’re getting that… It’s too bad, too, because that’s a pretty cute mug on that pug, eh?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I’m Dreaming of a Greasy Christmas


You may recognize this as the wrapping paper I used to wrap all those fantastic gifts I left on your doorstep last night. Wait? You didn’t get them? Damn you Hamburglar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually, this wrapping paper is $2,000 away from being real. Go help them out on Kickstarter, because God knows I’m too cheap to.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

DFF (Down For Foilage)

This year you can buy Jersey Shore ornaments for your tree. Buy all three and they’ll throw in self-tanner, a bottle of Chaser and a case of the clap.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Burn Baby Burn

Pillowmob let’s you upload a photo and turn it into a pillow which is an awesome gift idea. Especially if you’re into burning life-sized face effigys.


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Give & Take

It appears our ritual sacrifice worked — featured us on their blog today. If you’re interested in gift tips from us, go here. But if you’re interested in just the tip, hit up the Sigma Chi House.

If you don’t know what Wantist (the website, not blog) is, it’s online gift finder and it’s awesome.

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