I’m obsessed with gray and yellow as a color palette. But I’m also obsessed with the idea of Zack Morris and Stacey Corosi living happily ever after with the corpse of Kelly Kapowski buried in their sandy beach-hut backyard, so maybe you shouldn’t pay much attention to my opinions.

You’re probably thinking to yourself, there’s no possible way this could get any more adorable, but that’s where you’re wrong. If I owned it, I’d add a conversation bubble that says, “Whooo gives a fuck?” See? Cussing = The Cutest.

This may not look like much, but it’s $650 worth of hand-painted porcelain strawberries which when converted into yen is still fucking stupid.

Weeeee. These stickers make all the stupid crap in your house super fun. Let’s just say it’s going to be pretty hard to potty train your kids after they lift the toilet lid to confront a sharp toothed monster mouth. But your wee one’s bed wetting will be the least of your problems in the boudoir when your lover lifts up the covers to find the bug-eye-forced-grin face on your pee parts. When he / she ask you what that is, just tell them “AIDs.”

Be sure to check out all of the awesome user photos on the Think Geek site.

This is what I’m in right now. Well, this and a horse tranquilizer-induced stupor. And a pleather catsuit. And the middle of mediocre issue of Highlights.

A place to store your shoes that looks like feet. Guess what? I already have two. Three, actually, if you count my five-toed vaginal nub.

Just in time for the recession’s double dip, it’s the Marc by Marc Jacobs tape measure. It’s for fashionable folks forced from their useless white-collar chair warming into more hands-on fields… like, say, professional measuring. Of course, it’s Marc by Marc Jacobs, so, a pret-a-measure as opposed to runway fashion. But the way things are going lately, it will probably have to do. Still, at $58 a pop (now marked down to $29), I’d think it would be able to do something really special. Like measure how retarded it is.

Isn’t it weird how you can hate something in real life, but love it as art, objects and pictures? That’s pretty much the philosophy behind Facebook, no?

Early Bird Pendant Light, $180

This chair reminds me of an American Apparel ad were waif boners and mom butts are thinly clothed in shimmery spandex. The only difference is, this chair is useful.

This is carpet for people that have nothing better to do than sit around and piece shit together. I, on the other hand, have farts to sniff.