My iPhone charger is so boring and dumb. But not for long. Introducing Whooz, one more gimmick-y piece of crap I don’t need, but will probably buy. At first I was like, “Oh wow, $12.95? That’s cheap.” Then I realized it’s just for a sheet of stickers, but then I thought about it some more and realized these are actually useful. Haven’t you ever been near another iPhone or MacTop and thought, “Well fuck, is this my cord?” And now you’ll know, “No, no, this isn’t mine. Mine’s the one with the cinnamon muff.”
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
This little cassette-to-iphone gadget is guaranteed to top out at number one on the “What To Buy Someone Who Just Woke Up From A Coma They’ve Been In Since 1989″ 2012 Holiday Gift List. Salvaging their Men in Hats tape will really soften the blow when you tell them it’s now super not cool to wear Hammer Pants.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Beer opener iPhone case? Absolutely. We really don’t drunk dial enough.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
I just got back from a vacation where I had to wear flip-flops (barf party) every day for a week. Flip-flops aren’t shoes. I felt homeless, just like this stupid flip-flop phone looks homeless. Phone homeless. ET Phone Homeless. The ET stands for Embarrassing Travesty. Also, I left my brain on vacation, did you notice?
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Can you ear me now? Oh, you can? Well good day, kind sir. I daresay you’re a bag of weiners.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Hey, I sure hate you,
Cuz you’re so lazy,
I’ve got your number:
You’re no Scorsese
I know for sure that
Your future’s hazy,
“Deep” thoughts and slumber,
You fucking baby
And all the other guys
Have advanced degrees
But you’re encumbered
By Art Star Crazies.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Cigarette smoke contains over 200 known deadly poisons, including Formaldehyde, Benzene and Nickleback.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
I broke my real phone on my birthday. In a bathroom. Wearing a tiara. Which is why I’m currently the proud owner of a 2008 Blackberry that I bought from these yayhoos. Two things: 1. Don’t ever break your phone. Ever. 2. When I’m finally up for a new phone, I will cave and get an iPhone solely based on my love of this Cobra Case.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Well, I’ll be damned. Look how happy we are to be on the League of Funny Bitches Podcast with the lovely and fabulous Noa (that’s her pokin’ her cutie mug in) and Alicia (who’s face, fist and foot will make appearances) of your new favorite blog, Oh Noa. Watch us squirm! Hear us swear! Remember that horizontal stripes and the camera each add ten pounds!
Here’s that link again in case you’re as stupid as you look: League of Funny Bitches Podcast
And here’s the Field Day link, since I said the wrong effing url like a tool. FIELD DAY!!!
And here’s the Fart Party link, because hello, it’s a Fart Party.