How sweet. You can make a wittle mousey bed for your wee kiddies in your Altoids tin. Or you can put joints in it like a normal red-blooded American citizen. What’s that you say? Those mice are stuffed with cocaine? Carry on, good Sir. Carry on.
Well, thank the Lord that someone finally invented self-standing cutlery. Trying in vain to balance my forks and knives on end has really been a bitch with my advanced Parkinson’s Disease and more advanced alcohol withdrawal symptoms. (I haven’t had a drink in at least 45 minutes.)
You should never let a dude into your vagina on the first date. That’s what second dates are for. But you can let him into your fauxgina. He may even think it’s the real thing… from what I’ve heard, they’re about the same size.
Check out this radical art book by Scott Campbell. The forward is by Jack Black so you know what that means — It’s going to be bloated and sweaty. Unless it’s a different Jack Black and then boy is my face red…
Last Thursday a male friend and I were at a coffee shop. He ordered an herbal tea and the barrista said, “maybe you should try yoga for your cramps.” Later that day he sent me this Romantic Star Projector and I shouted, “Knock off the herbal tea, Linda.” We laughed and laughed…and then he punched me in the ovaries…with his tampon.
I love this pillow beast so much I wanna marry it. How does that work, again? First ladies can marry ladies, then ladies can marry toddlers, then ladies can marry dogs, and THEN ladies can marry pillow beasts? Correct me if I’m wrong, Republicans…
[Badder Homes and Gardens] had me laughing uproariously, and totally wishing I could say half of what they say. Be forewarned that if you are offended by cursing... then take my advice and forget I even mentioned it. But if you like your snark pretty offensive with a little dash of design, read it and weep.
Badder Homes and Gardens is maintained by three whip-smart Texas gals [who have] a great collective eye for clever art and design, and a knack for describing beauty with bathroom humor, which is no easy feat.
The stereotype of the good housewife is old. Enter Badder Homes and Gardens. Their tips are more likely to make life hilarious than to get you a parent of the year award. If you’ve ever gotten nauseous watching Martha Stewart, then this delightfully sarcastic—yet still useful—site is for you.