Thursday, November 29, 2012

Delivering a Tongue Bashing

Much like a purple nurple, this is a shocking twist: these aren’t actually obscene! Apparently the goal of this crap is to “sublimate the fonction of the object.” Yes, fonction. That’s what is says. I don’t know what the fonction it’s supposed to mean but I think we can all agree that it’s time to change our underpants.

Me-owwww

I heard that every time you burn toast a kitten masturbates, but that can’t be true. Can it?

Domo Toaster, $40

via Incredible Things!

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Batty

Scare the shit out of your potato chips with these Spooky Bat Pegs*. Or do it the old fashioned way — show them your bare thighs.

*It’s a British thang. Here in Texas we call them chip clips. Over in San Fran, they call them nip clips.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Stop the Pop

I’m not really sure what Pringles is shooting for here, but I’m certain they missed the mark. Unless, they were going for “things that make you vomit instantly.” Because if that’s the case — nailed it.

 

Monday, October 1, 2012

Ya Burnt

CLEAR! your counter and bring your toast back to toasty with this SHOCKINGLY cool toaster. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go toss it in the tub with some Mr. Bubble since I just double punned in a single post.

via Kitschy Living

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Extra Meat, Pleas

Not only does this roller fork make eating pizza much easier, but it also greatly improves the efficiency of wiener-based cannibalism.

Monday, August 6, 2012

T-Boned

I love this aluminum foil. I’ll never need it, but I love it. I prefer to keep my leftovers where they belong — rotting under the pillows of my…nemesises? Nemeses? Shoosh. Fuck pimpin’. Evil grammar ain’t easy.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Ya Burnt

Your love notes are immortalized in toast thanks to this little toaster. Mine would say sweet things like, “Make your own fucking breakfast, you lazy fucknut,” “Please remove the dead hooker from the credenza. Your mother will be here in an hour and I’m not taking the blame for this shit again,” and “Honey, I think we’re out of milk.”

 

via this foxy internet stranger

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Breakfast at Louis’

The convenient thing about this Louis Vuitton waffle maker is that it doubles as a tiny tanning bed for your almost non-existent sense of humility.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Cookie Monster

A coffee cup made of cookie? My pants just exploded.

And despite the pant-explosion reference above, can someone please tell this lady she’s eating a cookie cup not auditioning for a re-make of Saturday Night Beaver? Thanks.

via Incredible ThingsĀ 

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