I once had a roommate who was trying to clean paint out of an outlet and I said, “Why don’t you try a butter knife?” She said, “Oh, that’s a good idea.” Then she died to death of dumbness.

Ouchlet Outlet Covers, $4.99

via Incredible Things

These are called Cupcake Kebobs, but I’ll probably still call them breakfast. Eating whatever I want is the only reason I became an adult, bitches. Suck my D, Food Pyramid.

via Poppytalk Handmade

Check out this radical art book by Scott Campbell. The forward is by Jack Black so you know what that means — It’s going to be bloated and sweaty. Unless it’s a different Jack Black and then boy is my face red…

Last Thursday a male friend and I were at a coffee shop. He ordered an herbal tea and the barrista said, “maybe you should try yoga for your cramps.” Later that day he sent me this Romantic Star Projector and I shouted, “Knock off the herbal tea, Linda.” We laughed and laughed…and then he punched me in the ovaries…with his tampon.

I hate to break it to the company that makes these, but little boys come equipped with their own tube toys.

There is absolutely nothing funny to say about this Baby Moon Bed, but I seriously freaking love it, so I’m just going to type a fart sound instead. Pffffffffffffft.

They call this “Fairies in a Jar,” but I think we both know it’s just a Lisa Frank urine specimen. That lady literally pisses glitter and unicorns. Yes. Unicorns. Her vaginal walls are lined with gumdrops so she doesn’t feel a thing.

Apparently, the glitter image is false and this one is more accurate. Sorry to burst your bubble, but at least I saved it for the footnote. 

I hate to break it to you, kiddo, but if your parents make you this dollhouse, they don’t really love you. Or you’re just totally poor and this is all the scrap cardboard they could scrounge up that hadn’t been soaked in garbage water in the alley behind the 7-11. In which case they TOTALLY love you… but I think all of your are super gross.

The only problem with this Brush Buddies Justin Bieber Singing Toothbrush is the fact that it will make your teeth look like a total lesbian.

Step 1: Meet Jerry Sandusky.

Step 2: Drop the soap.

here buy this book