Looks like I can finally upgrade my bath style from Whore’s to Cowboy. Cowboy Bath lets you scrub dem dirty parts when you’re on the go, like camping, mountain biking and probably also semi-professional backyard mud-wrasslin’. Plus it’s from fucking TEXAS where all amazing things are created. I’ll just leave exhibits A and B right here.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Thursday, June 14, 2012
It’s time to replace your denim-covered Rooms To Go couch from the Cindy Crawford collection. So scoot your denim-covered ass to I.D. Dallas’ Summer Furniture Showcase this weekend to ogle and buy amazing handcrafted furniture (and furnishings) with some amazing handcrafted dudes thrown in to sweeten the deal.
Duh, guys who build furniture are hot.
HOSTED BY: I.D. Dallas
WHEN: Saturday the 16th, 8pm – 10pm & Sunday the 17th, 11am – 4pm
ALSO: Free parking, complimentary wine
I’ll be there every minute of both days, so come say hello and compliment my rack. It’s the polite thing to do.
Friday, May 4, 2012
If you live in Dallas, you probably already know that Diorama-O-Rama is on like miniature Donkey Kong next Saturday, May 12th. Why am I telling you now? So you can preregister today (May 4th, LAST DAY) and make your diorama over the weekend. You’re welcome for the generous notice. Less of a giver, more of a taker? No big, just show up. It’s one of those everyone’s invited events. You know, the kind pleat-front khaki wearers live for.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Bradly Brown is many things: Art Star, Superfox and Witness to and/or cause of most of the horrible decisions I made from 1998 to 2003. But above all, he’s a founding member of HOMECOMING!, an artists’ group that’s hosting your new favorite event…
Hands on an Art Body. Sounds sessy, yessy? Here’s the dill:
Inspired by the film “Hands on a Hard Body,” where twenty-four contestants compete in an endurance/sleep deprivation contest in order to win a brand new Nissan Hardbody truck, attendees are invited to place their hands on any work they desire on display within the gallery and remain with it throughout the evening. The last participant left in contact with the piece at the end of the night acquires the work at the end of the exhibition.
Everyone who’s anyone loves molesting various artstuffs, so get your fancy pants and Purelled paws to the Oliver Francis Gallery in Dallas on May 19th at 6:00.
The exhibition runs from May 12th to the 26th.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Well, I’ll be damned. Look how happy we are to be on the League of Funny Bitches Podcast with the lovely and fabulous Noa (that’s her pokin’ her cutie mug in) and Alicia (who’s face, fist and foot will make appearances) of your new favorite blog, Oh Noa. Watch us squirm! Hear us swear! Remember that horizontal stripes and the camera each add ten pounds!
Here’s that link again in case you’re as stupid as you look: League of Funny Bitches Podcast
And here’s the Field Day link, since I said the wrong effing url like a tool. FIELD DAY!!!
And here’s the Fart Party link, because hello, it’s a Fart Party.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Ben Garrett is more talented than you are. Who else could take a gaggle of misfit ho-bags and turn them into regal white trash queens? Aside from the producers of Flava Of Love, of course. (That reference is indicative of me being “with it.”)
Click images for larger sizes. Or sometimes for the same size!
Friday, January 7, 2011
The last time I walked across the Golden Gate Bridge, I saw this modern declaration of Twoo Wuv:
This is clearly a man in need of some booty shorts-sportin’ puppets. I just hope he doesn’t love them so much he ends up in the E.R. with a bad case of Penile Puppet Pox. I’ve heard they itch even worse than Scrotal Muppet Burn and Vaginal Fraggle-Itis.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
It’s official, Badder Homes and Gardens is turning two – thanks to all you lovely and masochistic readers out there. To celebrate I’m throwing Krista a happy hour, Krista is throwing Nikki a happy hour, and Nikki is throwing a happy hour for me. Oh, and you’re totally all invited to all three! We’ll be conveniently hosting them all the same night at the same place (somewhere in Dallas to be announced very soon). So save the date – Friday 1/21 at 7 pm – and please, please come show us your pretty faces.*
* Assuming two years of reading our whining hasn’t inspired you to claw your eyes out leaving you horribly scarred.**
** In which case, you’re not invited.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Sometimes we’re let out of our cages to terrorize the city. Or at least attend a Blogger Social with Dallas’ bevy of design blogging bitches.
The three of us strapped on our socializin’ faces and attended the Post Blogger Social at Nest, a thuper rad Dallas boutique in a double-fab new location in the Knox-Henderson design district. It was hosted by Hello, Splendor and Fabulous K, sponsored by Nest Interior Design and had absolutely nothing to do with this.
Wanna see what you can buy us for Christmas? Boy, do you EVER!
Skully chairs for our bony asses.
This wax head made Nikki regret her last-minute decision not to wear wax lips. (Down there.)
The sock monkey was court-ordered to wear pants after an unfortunate incident involving a playground, a Girl Scout troop and tub of off-brand petroleum jelly.
These little skis turn almost any chair into a rocking chair. Just like how Sarah’s little fists turn almost any face into hamburger meat.
Are your eyeballs bleeding from jealousy yet? No? Then let’s keep on truckin’, shall we?
A moment on the lips is totally worth a lifetime on the hips, amiright, ladies? (Cuppycakes by Citizen Sweet)
Beautiful and poorly-photographed flowers by Bows and Arrows. Also by Bows and Arrows?…
Adorable boutineers on adorable boy-tineers. (Crisman and Adam, respectively, who probably hate being called “boy-tineers” since it makes no goddamn sense.)
And, finally, a chair that looks like a dildo version of The Noid. You’re welcome.
Ta da! This post was brought to you by the letters K, N, S and the number 666. Air kisses!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I already know you love beautiful things because, duh, you love us. So it shouldn’t take much arm twisting for you Dallasites to scoot your booties down to Lower Greenville to visit Bows and Arrows. It’s a wee lovely space where you can feel like a kid in a goddamn candy shop (if candy shops were actually flower shops, you moron). But before we get to the flowers, let’s get to the ephemera. Which is not the correct use of that word, but HEY LOOK FUN STUFF:
But, of course, the real action is of the pistils and stamens variety. For anyone planning a fancy-pantsy event or (shotgun? arranged? greencard necessitated?) wedding, this is the place for flowers arrangements that aren’t half as stuffy as a mummified corpse locked in a trunk in my attic. Not that I know anything about that, officer.
They even offer classes! The only thing I can arrange is hits on ex-boyfriends, but you should try your hand at making pretty things. No, I’m sorry, you can’t make my likeness out of African Orchids, but I appreciate the thought.
Anyway, if you want your experience to be as lovely as mine, you’ll need to do three things:
1. Have your boyfriend accidentally pour a vase of water down your pants and into your shoes. (Subsequently: withhold sex for three days).
2. Have an oddly motionless Katy Perry dance party with small-to-medium amounts of shame.
3. Whore out your blog to darling boys who are possibly named Christman, which, if that’s right, just got 50 times cooler when I typed it and realized how Jesusy it is.*
*Okay, apparently it’s Crisman. Another day, another crushed dream. Thanks a lot, JESUS.