Remember when your mom told you she was keeping an eye on you? Apparently that was no idle threat. I hope this monster stroller comes with 30 years of therapy and a clean change of underpants.

What’s the best thing about this anatomical penis print? Nope, not the gaudy, ornate frame. Not the overt veininess. Not even the awesomely straightforward label declaring it THE PENIS. It’s that the room they show it in couldn’t look more like inside of a vagina if it had an area rug made of pubes. One in the pink, indeed.

via the appropriately named Brian Wood

This red-dye infused figure was suspended in a glass box and then swarmed by 40,000 bees who built a wax honeycomb over it. I can’t decide if it reminds me more of the Bodies Exhibit or something that Lady Gaga would wear to, like, a Bar Mitzvah. Probably the latter. Everyone knows honey is kosher, but you’re totally not allowed to bring food into the Bodies Exhibit.

Help me out here. I’m trying to think of occasions that would warrant the use of a remote-control light switch. So far all I’ve come up with is that you’re sitting on the toilet taking a dump and you can’t get up because you’re not ready to pinch-off, but you need to turn the lights out because you were going to summon Bloody Mary and show her what kind of poop a big boy makes. That happens a lot, right?

PS – If you have to plug the lamp into this special box for the remote to work, this is pretty much a wash laziness-wise.

Normal Guatemalan Worry People Dolls are “eh” and “shrug.” But these worry dolls come with a free spell casting. FREE SPELL CASTING!?! That’s so “whee” and “pee leaks.” I can’t wait to watch your groin catch fire and your boobs deflate!!

This bicycle is pretty rad, but I just think it’s nice to see Calista Flockart working again.

via The Man, The Myth, The Beard

I’ve heard there’s a degree in Buffy Studies offered at some college. Do you think it features an Intro to Post-Zombie-Apocalypse Geography? It’s probably right after Self-Righteous Self-Sacrifice 101, The Virgin/Whore Paradox in Victorian Vampire Literature and the Staking Technique Practical Lab.  Anyways, here’s the perfect map to hang over the chalk board at Sunnydale U. And if you drop your library books into a Hell Mouth, don’t expect to get your late fees waved. Excuses are for pussies and vampires with souls.

Via Not With That Face, whose face was heroically ripped off during a Demon border skirmish.

I’d much rather have a chair made out of skinned dalmations than one made out of a skinned Cruella de Vil. Puppy chairs are soft and cushy and taste like beef jerky when you nibble them. Cruella de Vil chairs are bony and stiff and taste like Virginia Slims and overactive bladder medication. (Which is much less delicious than it sounds.) Also, why am I tasting my furniture? I don’t know, why are YOU asking such stupid fucking questions?

Turns out these peacock sculptures and I are made of the same materials: fake fingernails, false eyelashes, barrettes, dimestore jewelry, wood, pewter, swarovski crystals and nail polish. The only difference, I guess, is the wood. Theirs seems to be walnut or oak, and mine is a giant, raging pre-op boner.

get outta my way, jerkface

via Clint “Shananay-Sayer” Martin

Ever have a friend on facebook and you’re not entirely sure how you virtually know them, but you’re glad you do? This is made by that guy. His name is Timothy Liles and fun fact: he’s sleeping in a teepee tonight. Even more fun fact: I’m sleeping in my peepee.