Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Sweet Dreams Aren’t Made of This

Counting sheep: you’re doing it wrong.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Pinking Sneers

Slicey the Pig is an abomination to animalkind. Has the designer no decency? No respect for Mother Nature and her infinite miracles? Slicey is little more than a flagrant slap in the snout to swine across the globe. I’ll say it one time and one time only: it’s completely irrational – nay, unnatural – for a pig to have moose knuckle.

 

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Right on Schedule

I like to pretend I’m Melanie Griffith from Working Girl even though I’ve never seen that movie. That said, I really do still write everything in a DayPlanner. I have a lot of really smart suits, too, and tons of shoulder pads and L.A. Looks. Let’s go do coke of Don Johnson’s nutsack. Who’s with me?

Death by Center Cut

Throw all the other bacon-themed products inside, promise to have it cremated and I’m on board.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Wall-Hung Dead

Pre-live your zombie apocalypse fantasies with this insanely life-like zombie head trophy. The only thing grosser is the fact that somewhere some guy is shooting this thing in the head…with his masturbation juice. Men. They just can’t help themselves.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Cerebell-Yum

Two things about these Chocolate Skulls:

1. They’re awesome.

2. We should bring back lobotomies.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

From The Desk of…MURDER

Medieval weapon push pins!!! I love these almost as much as I love actual hatchets. But I like actual hatchets in actual bodies. Not silly corkboards. I’m gonna kill you!!

via Incredible Things

Friday, February 24, 2012

Tingles

Spine candles? Yes. The fact that the seller says they “repel darkness?” Double yes. In fact, the only way to plus this shit up is if it was made from a real spine. Like yours.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Double Died

What do you get for the person who everything? Everything except emotionally-scarring night terrors, that is. Duh, a handmade, three-faced flying purple people eater conjoined fetal skeleton. Love it, cuddle it, shower with it… he’s your newest forever pal. Frankly and thematically…

 

Jessie Wallin is slingin’ the giggles with skeleton babies and sidesplitting cross stichery .

 

Thursday, February 9, 2012

An Apocalypse of the Heart

Roses are red. Violence is, too. I got you these zombie chocolates because I love…zombie chocolates. I mean, I assume that since you’reĀ vomitingĀ that means you’re not going to be eating these, right?

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