Remember when your mom told you she was keeping an eye on you? Apparently that was no idle threat. I hope this monster stroller comes with 30 years of therapy and a clean change of underpants.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Putting a P in Pink
What’s the best thing about this anatomical penis print? Nope, not the gaudy, ornate frame. Not the overt veininess. Not even the awesomely straightforward label declaring it THE PENIS. It’s that the room they show it in couldn’t look more like inside of a vagina if it had an area rug made of pubes. One in the pink, indeed.
via the appropriately named Brian Wood
Monday, July 26, 2010
Buzz Romance
This red-dye infused figure was suspended in a glass box and then swarmed by 40,000 bees who built a wax honeycomb over it. I can’t decide if it reminds me more of the Bodies Exhibit or something that Lady Gaga would wear to, like, a Bar Mitzvah. Probably the latter. Everyone knows honey is kosher, but you’re totally not allowed to bring food into the Bodies Exhibit.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Lights Outlandish
Help me out here. I’m trying to think of occasions that would warrant the use of a remote-control light switch. So far all I’ve come up with is that you’re sitting on the toilet taking a dump and you can’t get up because you’re not ready to pinch-off, but you need to turn the lights out because you were going to summon Bloody Mary and show her what kind of poop a big boy makes. That happens a lot, right?
PS – If you have to plug the lamp into this special box for the remote to work, this is pretty much a wash laziness-wise.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Worry Wart
Normal Guatemalan Worry People Dolls are “eh” and “shrug.” But these worry dolls come with a free spell casting. FREE SPELL CASTING!?! That’s so “whee” and “pee leaks.” I can’t wait to watch your groin catch fire and your boobs deflate!!
Friday, July 2, 2010
A Bicycle Built for Ew
This bicycle is pretty rad, but I just think it’s nice to see Calista Flockart working again.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Zombieland
I’ve heard there’s a degree in Buffy Studies offered at some college. Do you think it features an Intro to Post-Zombie-Apocalypse Geography? It’s probably right after Self-Righteous Self-Sacrifice 101, The Virgin/Whore Paradox in Victorian Vampire Literature and the Staking Technique Practical Lab. Anyways, here’s the perfect map to hang over the chalk board at Sunnydale U. And if you drop your library books into a Hell Mouth, don’t expect to get your late fees waved. Excuses are for pussies and vampires with souls.
Via Not With That Face, whose face was heroically ripped off during a Demon border skirmish.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
101 Desecrations
I’d much rather have a chair made out of skinned dalmations than one made out of a skinned Cruella de Vil. Puppy chairs are soft and cushy and taste like beef jerky when you nibble them. Cruella de Vil chairs are bony and stiff and taste like Virginia Slims and overactive bladder medication. (Which is much less delicious than it sounds.) Also, why am I tasting my furniture? I don’t know, why are YOU asking such stupid fucking questions?
Friday, June 18, 2010
Party Fowl
Turns out these peacock sculptures and I are made of the same materials: fake fingernails, false eyelashes, barrettes, dimestore jewelry, wood, pewter, swarovski crystals and nail polish. The only difference, I guess, is the wood. Theirs seems to be walnut or oak, and mine is a giant, raging pre-op boner.
get outta my way, jerkface













