These Thumb Tacks are more fun than a night at the clubs. And likely filled with less pricks.

via Alan “Thunder Dump” McCoy

Thank goodness this says “bitches” because if it said “male equivalent of bitches” it’d be way too small. I’d need at least three times that much space to list all the people I’m gonna holla at… We are talking about people we’re going to yell at because they suck, right?

Scare the shit out of your potato chips with these Spooky Bat Pegs*. Or do it the old fashioned way — show them your bare thighs.

*It’s a British thang. Here in Texas we call them chip clips. Over in San Fran, they call them nip clips.

Ladies, you can either spend $280 on one of these leather boxes, or become a Florida beach nudist and create your own.

Something tells me these feet belong to a very lonely woman that probably eats a lot of Dinty Moore Stew.

I’m not using Treat Stick for my non-existent dog. I’m using it for myself. Just as soon as I figure out how to get two Oreo Cheesequake Blizzards up in that bitch.

This portable play mat is for the fancy-pants baby who’s too good for the floor. Well, baby, let’s hope you’re not too good for boarding school. Or the black market.

Did you know the longest mountain system on Earth is the Mid-Oceanic Ridge? And it’s actually underwater? Did you also know that spouting off facts likes that makes people like you less? It’s true. Try it.

In other news, check out this Snow Mountain Wool Felt Toy Box on etsy.

Note to self: need larger computer screen, waste basket and refrigerator. *Bleeds out from giant paper cut*

I’m a sucker for mailing things. Letters, gifts, dead rats. You name it, I’ll mail it. And now thanks to oh joy!, your blood-soaked envelope will have a pretty design on it, too.