Thursday, December 6, 2012

Spot the Problem

This incredibly realistic leopard stair runner is a great way to teach your kids fun leopard facts. For example, leopards are the best climbers of all the big cats, they begin learning to climb trees at 3 to 4 months old and they can easily drape around the branches because they’re flimsy goo-filled skin sacks born completely devoid of organs or bones.


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Tickled Pink

Okay, I just realized that Pink Flokati Rugs exist and I’m not going to lie, there are tingles in my underpants.

via Poppytalk


Monday, April 9, 2012

Flower Power-less

This doormat is like a statement t-shirt for your house. It’s says, “Hey, isn’t this funny? I didn’t think of it at all. But I think it’s funny therefore I must be funny. Pull my finger.”

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Ants in Your Pants

Girl, get out of my dreams and into your picnic pants. Then get back out of them picnic pants because nothing gets me hotter than a lap full of crumbs. Get a pair and turn your snatch into snack station. After “in my bed when I’m still drinking at 4AM” and “in front of the TV while I cry, alone,” this is my new favorite place to eat!


Wednesday, December 7, 2011


Look what the ding-a-lings at FLOR did. They give you the idea and know-how to cut a regular-shaped rug into an animal-shaped rug. They remind me of every single girl at Senior Prom — giving that shit away for free.


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

A Little Cush For Your Tush

I always thought a Manhole Cushion was a urethra pillow, but I guess I missed a memo or something.


Thursday, July 14, 2011

Bitches and Pussies: Cat on a Warm Skin Poof

I can’t wait to wrap my kitty cat up in this adorable bear skin rug. She’s been pretty chilly ever since I skinned her for our cat skin rug.

Thursday, March 31, 2011


Is it trashy that I kind of want a plastic rug for my living room to save the floors from cat puke? I mean, I have plastic boobs to save my ego from man puke and I’m wearing plastic underwear to save my pants from vagina puke (that’s what I call tinkles), so maybe plastic could be my “thing.” Like how your thing is “malodorous oral thrush and wacky message t-shirts.”

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Rug Burn

It’s not fair that a couch with a built-in rug gets tons of accolades while my cooch with a built-in rug just gets tons of ingrowns.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Rug Burned

What would you say if I told you you could get a free ride on some hipster’s rug that doesn’t end with a bulk order from No, no. Don’t tell me. I just remembered I don’t give a fuck.

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