Look what the ding-a-lings at FLOR did. They give you the idea and know-how to cut a regular-shaped rug into an animal-shaped rug. They remind me of every single girl at Senior Prom — giving that shit away for free.

I always thought a Manhole Cushion was a urethra pillow, but I guess I missed a memo or something.

I can’t wait to wrap my kitty cat up in this adorable bear skin rug. She’s been pretty chilly ever since I skinned her for our cat skin rug.

Is it trashy that I kind of want a plastic rug for my living room to save the floors from cat puke? I mean, I have plastic boobs to save my ego from man puke and I’m wearing plastic underwear to save my pants from vagina puke (that’s what I call tinkles), so maybe plastic could be my “thing.” Like how your thing is “malodorous oral thrush and wacky message t-shirts.”

It’s not fair that a couch with a built-in rug gets tons of accolades while my cooch with a built-in rug just gets tons of ingrowns.

What would you say if I told you you could get a free ride on some hipster’s rug that doesn’t end with a bulk order from crabshampoo.com? No, no. Don’t tell me. I just remembered I don’t give a fuck.

I’ve never had hemorrhoids, but if I did I’d “upcycle” one into this rug and save myself a couple grand. Do you know how much Preparation H you can buy with that scratch?

We’ve been looking for a new rug for our living room, and I think the Demon Rug might be the ticket. It’s a little bolder than we usually go for, but it should really complement our new toddler-skin ottoman.

Bright colors. Fucked-up faces. It’s like a Ke$ha concert in your living room.

Doce Caras Rug, $349

I love a good rug. And a good rub. But a tug? Not so much.

via 6th Street Design School