It’s a good thing this isn’t life size or, you know, you’d need a microscope to see yours. Oh wait, this isn’t a dick…

Well, you know what they say… liquor in the front, beaker in the rear.

I’m not really sure what Pringles is shooting for here, but I’m certain they missed the mark. Unless, they were going for “things that make you vomit instantly.” Because if that’s the case — nailed it.

Okay, I just realized that Pink Flokati Rugs exist and I’m not going to lie, there are tingles in my underpants.

via Poppytalk

Who’s ready for this daughter of a Chemist to shame my whole family? Here goes!

You should sit on Mercury, cuz your ass is crazy!

Can your friends sit here? No, they Argon!

When I eat my meals, this is where Iodine!

1…2…3…DISOWNED!!!

Edible google-y eyes?!? Fuck you, Jonas Salk and your precious Polio vaccine… This is the greatest invention of all time.

I once had a roommate who was trying to clean paint out of an outlet and I said, “Why don’t you try a butter knife?” She said, “Oh, that’s a good idea.” Then she died to death of dumbness.

Ouchlet Outlet Covers, $4.99

via Incredible Things

If these Magnetic Flower Pots do indeed connect through a wall like they claim to, then I’ll eat my shoe. It’s made of gumdrops and licorice whips, but still, I’ll eat it.

As a fledgeling Arch Villain here at Nemesis University, goal numero uno is to seize the moon and somehow befoul it to the detriment of humanity. Why? If you have time to question me, you have time to give me 50 evil cat-sidekick curls. Now! Of course, if you’re a lazy sack of crap who’ll never amount to more than a third-rate Dr. Evil, you may as well go with the Cliff’s Notes version – the Illuminated Remote Control Moon. Bend it to your every evil whim. Bwa ha ha ha ha. So long as said evil whim is just to remote control a fake moon.

“This dynamically designed ball is used in the mysterious art of contact juggling. By exploiting the sphere’s reflective properties you can create the illusion that its defying gravity or even moving on its own…” Or you can just sell your soul to the devil for actual mystical powers. Sheesh. Everyone’s looking for a shortcut these days…