Monday, December 10, 2012

Baller

I finally plucked the last of my Fu Manchu. Movember’s over, but apparently, not forgotten. This holiday season get your very own Bauballs, testicles for the tree. Is it just me or does this look more like a big juicy butt than a set of nuts?

via BuzzFeed

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Oh My Gourd

I realize we’re over a month out from Halloween, but if ever there was a product made for this blog, it’s Pornkins, porn stencils for your pumpkins. Here at BHG, we keep it simple with wieners and boobs, but if you have the steady hand to pull off actual intercourse, we tip our pumpkin stems to you. Perv on, perv-y.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Easy Rider

My favorite thing that could possibly happen with these? Two dicks show up to the same party in the same hat. Can you even imagine?!? And yes, these are actually little chocolate hats for your little…um…penis.

via Connor “App for That” Hill

 

Monday, July 16, 2012

Sure Thing

This book by Amanda Hunt offers “152 ways to seal the deal.” Way number 134? Have a vagina. Number 98? Be Jon Hamm*.

*Sound the stolen joke alarm. I swiped that from SNL.

Friday, July 6, 2012

$5 Make You Wall-a

Hold on to your black ties, folks, because shit just got CLASSY in here. Wouldn’t this be the perfect way to disguise the Porky’s hole you drilled into the wall of your neighbor’s shower?

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Pitch a Tent

Mark your calendar, folks. July 3rd. The first and only time I’ve ever wanted to go camping. And it’s all due to this split crotch sleeping bag.

 

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Bubble Tea

The next time I have the queen over, I’m using these to serve her tea. I just want to see if she turns into a wolf, bugs her eyes out and blows steam out of her ears.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

What’s Up?

This is called Long Dong Silver which is totally weird because it looks nothing like Clarence Thomas… Please tell me at least some of you remember when he called himself that and put a pube on Anita Hill’s Diet Coke. A pube. On a Diet Coke. Who does that? Oh yeah, Long Dong Silver…

via Jennifer S. and she doesn’t even know it.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Rhymes With Mulva

And all this time I just thought “Labia Cakes” was a cute nickname from college…

via BuzzFeed and The Dirty Normal who thinks these are the work of Evil Cake Shop

 

You Can’t Do Her On Television

This week on Everybody Loves Raymond:

Raymond: “Honey, I’m home.”

Waits, but there’s no answer…

Raymond: “Why is there never anyone here to appreciate me and bring me a beer?”

Laugh track

Raymond’s Bitchy Wife: “Are you back, again? I was upstairs spending your money on sachets and hideous old lady underwear you can’t unfasten.”

Laugh track

Raymond: ”Good news. I got this Stamina Pillow with an ugly lady on it. She’s like my worst nightmare so I can do you for even more seconds that one time a year you begrudgingly let me sex in your vagina.”

Oooooooooo track

Raymond’s Bitchy Wife: “You want to know my worst nightmare? Longer sex with you. I’m going to go kill myself”

Laugh track

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