Looks like I can finally upgrade my bath style from Whore’s to Cowboy. Cowboy Bath lets you scrub dem dirty parts when you’re on the go, like camping, mountain biking and probably also semi-professional backyard mud-wrasslin’. Plus it’s from fucking TEXAS where all amazing things are created. I’ll just leave exhibits A and B right here.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
There are two things I like in life: York Peppermint Patties and breakin’ rules, and I’m all out of York Peppermint Patties. So peep your eyeholes on Trends We Love while I break the rules of this here blog (I’m the boss, seeee?) and post about pretty, inexpensive, non-home things that can distract from your ugly, cheap, homely face.
Trends We Love was started in part by our pal Lee Taylor. The site carries bags, jewelry, heroin, scarves and also I lied about the heroin. But you’ll be addicted to the crazy low prices! SEE WHAT I DID THERE? (Seriously, those earrings? 20 bones Jones. A steal, for real).
Anyway, buy it all before I buy it all because I’m fucking rich as shit and can wipe ‘em out in nanoseconds. Truth.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
It’s time to replace your denim-covered Rooms To Go couch from the Cindy Crawford collection. So scoot your denim-covered ass to I.D. Dallas’ Summer Furniture Showcase this weekend to ogle and buy amazing handcrafted furniture (and furnishings) with some amazing handcrafted dudes thrown in to sweeten the deal.
Duh, guys who build furniture are hot.
HOSTED BY: I.D. Dallas
WHEN: Saturday the 16th, 8pm – 10pm & Sunday the 17th, 11am – 4pm
ALSO: Free parking, complimentary wine
I’ll be there every minute of both days, so come say hello and compliment my rack. It’s the polite thing to do.
Friday, May 4, 2012
If you live in Dallas, you probably already know that Diorama-O-Rama is on like miniature Donkey Kong next Saturday, May 12th. Why am I telling you now? So you can preregister today (May 4th, LAST DAY) and make your diorama over the weekend. You’re welcome for the generous notice. Less of a giver, more of a taker? No big, just show up. It’s one of those everyone’s invited events. You know, the kind pleat-front khaki wearers live for.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Bradly Brown is many things: Art Star, Superfox and Witness to and/or cause of most of the horrible decisions I made from 1998 to 2003. But above all, he’s a founding member of HOMECOMING!, an artists’ group that’s hosting your new favorite event…
Hands on an Art Body. Sounds sessy, yessy? Here’s the dill:
Inspired by the film “Hands on a Hard Body,” where twenty-four contestants compete in an endurance/sleep deprivation contest in order to win a brand new Nissan Hardbody truck, attendees are invited to place their hands on any work they desire on display within the gallery and remain with it throughout the evening. The last participant left in contact with the piece at the end of the night acquires the work at the end of the exhibition.
Everyone who’s anyone loves molesting various artstuffs, so get your fancy pants and Purelled paws to the Oliver Francis Gallery in Dallas on May 19th at 6:00.
The exhibition runs from May 12th to the 26th.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Well, I’ll be damned. Look how happy we are to be on the League of Funny Bitches Podcast with the lovely and fabulous Noa (that’s her pokin’ her cutie mug in) and Alicia (who’s face, fist and foot will make appearances) of your new favorite blog, Oh Noa. Watch us squirm! Hear us swear! Remember that horizontal stripes and the camera each add ten pounds!
Here’s that link again in case you’re as stupid as you look: League of Funny Bitches Podcast
And here’s the Field Day link, since I said the wrong effing url like a tool. FIELD DAY!!!
And here’s the Fart Party link, because hello, it’s a Fart Party.
Friday, December 16, 2011
The guy who made these radically nerdy Mario and Luigi birdhouses was an actor in a commercial I shot for my real job. A NAKED actor. Yes, that’s right. I’ve seen the dude’s Bowsers and Donkey Kong. And the best part? Advertising is nothing like college, so I got to see it all without showing him Princess Peach.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
It appears our ritual sacrifice worked — Wantist.com featured us on their blog today. If you’re interested in gift tips from us, go here. But if you’re interested in just the tip, hit up the Sigma Chi House.
If you don’t know what Wantist (the website, not blog) is, it’s online gift finder and it’s awesome.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Have a friend with a leaky implant? Severed nipple? Exploded testicle? Send a Kitty Wig card. It shows you care, but more importantly it shows you have exquisite taste in animals with fake hair. Gerbil toupees? Come on, that’s just silly. Parakeet merkins? Already in development. In the meantime, scribble scrabble on these exclusive Glamourpuss cards from Papyrus.They’re fun, festive and totally puss-ified.
You know how we pretend we’re a big deal? This time we actually are. We know the creator of Kitty Wigs and she warns, “If the cards are out of stock online, please check back in a few days as they restock the site twice a week.” Sure, sure, sure she warns everyone on her site, but she warned us personally through email. That’s right, email.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
We have a friend named Alan who is super talented and always up to something. Like cutting his own bangs, piercing his nips and making his own Bansky art. Banksy took a fancy pants oil painting and added a rusted out car. Alan took a cheap ass Goodwill painting and added graffiti. Then he probably grilled scallops, planted an herb garden, delivered a baby, fermented his own wine, wove some fabric and went to bed. Seriously. He writes about 15 blogs, too, so if you ever get bored with us, check him out here, here, here and here.