Wednesday, July 27, 2011

DIYDS: Busy B Word

We have a friend named Alan who is super talented and always up to something. Like cutting his own bangs, piercing his nips and making his own Bansky art. Banksy took a fancy pants oil painting and added a rusted out car. Alan took a cheap ass Goodwill painting and added graffiti. Then he probably grilled scallops, planted an herb garden, delivered a baby, fermented his own wine, wove some fabric and went to bed. Seriously. He writes about 15 blogs, too, so if you ever get bored with us, check him out here, here, here and here.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

From Us, To You With Love

If you’re like most of America (and parts of Southeast Asia), you’re forever wondering what to buy us. A loaded gun, pierced condoms and a Best of Kenny Loggins CD are all solid ideas. But if you really, really, really want to make sure you get us something good, check out Yeah, You’re Welcome. Every week Amanda Waas features someone’s 5 best gifts. Oh, how weird, this past week it was us. Total coincidence, I swear. Oh, and if you’re wondering why Sarah isn’t featured, it’s because she hates gifts. That or she was moving to Austin the weekend we wrote those.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Hittin’ The Low Notes

The Wall is a book about modern day music posters and features our pit-stained friends, Magnificent Beard. You should buy it. If you want. I mean you don’t have to or anything. It’s really up to you. I, I, I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. Are you sure you’re okay? You’re pretty. Will you be my friend?*

*This post brought to you by my new character The Insecure Blogger.

 

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Loose Bitches: Zip It

Sometimes we’re let out of our cages to terrorize the city. Or at least head to New York, Texas and kick some treetops.

Saturday, Krista and I headed to New York, Texas to handbrake our hearts out. Tragically, there is currently no zipline connecting Dallas to Austin so Sarah just had to stay in her cooler city and fillibuster. (It’s the capital, dummies.)The object of ziplining is to not stare directly into your male friends’ crotches. Alan made that an impossibility.The other object of ziplining is to not die. Krista had a Dayquil/Claritin/Nasonex/Other Medicines I Can’t Remember Right Now cocktail coursing through her body so she was kind of headed the wrong way. But that’s just a testament to how awesomely amazing ziplining is — you’ll risk hospitalization (and helmet hair) to do it. Seriously. It’s the coolest. And you know how we don’t like people ever? We found a handful of people we actually like. They work at NY/TX Ziplining and they give you freezer pops at the end of your zip sesh. And they don’t beat you for calling it a zip sesh. Yay?

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Let Them Eat Beef Jerky

Ben Garrett is more talented than you are. Who else could take a gaggle of misfit ho-bags and turn them into regal white trash queens? Aside from the producers of Flava Of Love, of course. (That reference is indicative of me being “with it.”)



Click images for larger sizes. Or sometimes for the same size!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

DIYDS: Sew Crazy

Our friend Alan made this. How did he do it you ask? The same way you make anything cool — with imagination, elbow grease and your mom.

No, seriously, his mom made the cushions. Pretty radical, huh?

Friday, February 25, 2011

Cramping My Style

According to these cute coasters, Acapulco is the place to be. Festive atmosphere, fun in the sun, and no judgment when you drunkenly gallivant around town in your kicky belted period-week underwear.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

You’re Invited

When I’m not busy thinking of ways to add ‘period face’ to a post, I like to unwind by inventing products that no one thinks they need, but trust me you do. Introducing Fart Stickers. They’re vinyl decals that you can stick anywhere and make it look like anything is farting. And the best part is, all the proceeds go to a charity of your choice*.

*Chad and Nikki’s Break-Even Fund

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Bitches and Pussies: Flying Doggies!

This is the Dam Beaver dog toy from Flying Doggies. I know what you’re thinking, “Flying Doggies? Do they sell astronaut puppies?” “Hot air balloon dog houses?” “Canine jetpacks?” “No,” “no” and “in development.”

They sell really awesome pet products and you should really go buy something. Now. Or they’ll launch a flaming bag of poo on you. (And trust me, they will.) To make it easier for you, take 20% off everything with the special coupon code “4BITCHES.” That right, bitches, 20% off.

Flying Doggies is an official friend of Badder Homes & Gardens and even though we gave them an flaming tampon seal of approval, they still refuse to add it to their site. Puppy prudes.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The First Annual Bah-Humbag Holiday Gift Bag Giveaway

Enter to win or BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY.*

*actual contract with the Devil is negotiable. Non-entrant may opt out of eternal damnation in lieu of spending eternity in Alabama. Void where uninterested. Some restrictions may result in us kicking you in the groin while wearing soccer cleats.

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