Republican primaries? Snooze-town. Ditch those border-line offensive blow-hards for the really offensive kind and vote Badder Homes and Gardens for Best Kept Secret in the 2012 Bloggies. In fact, vote Badder Homes and Gardens for everything, especially President of the United States. Our first act will be to install tampon dispensers in every room of the White House. You never know when you might need one.
It appears our ritual sacrifice worked — Wantist.com featured us on their blog today. If you’re interested in gift tips from us, go here. But if you’re interested in just the tip, hit up the Sigma Chi House.
If you don’t know what Wantist (the website, not blog) is, it’s online gift finder and it’s awesome.
If you’re like most of America (and parts of Southeast Asia), you’re forever wondering what to buy us. A loaded gun, pierced condoms and a Best of Kenny Loggins CD are all solid ideas. But if you really, really, really want to make sure you get us something good, check out Yeah, You’re Welcome. Every week Amanda Waas features someone’s 5 best gifts. Oh, how weird, this past week it was us. Total coincidence, I swear. Oh, and if you’re wondering why Sarah isn’t featured, it’s because she hates gifts. That or she was moving to Austin the weekend we wrote those.
Today is the most important day of the year: MY BIRTHDAY. And if there’s one thing that makes me happy in life, it’s a vomiting rabbit wishing me a happy barfday. And if there are TWO things that make me happy in life, it’s the Nelson Twins. Such pretty ladies!
Sauna Pants? Let’s just say any pants can be Sauna Pants when there’s a Taco Bell down the street. I was going to try harder, but I know you’re just scrolling by this post on your way to ogle our boobies.
Ben Garrett is more talented than you are. Who else could take a gaggle of misfit ho-bags and turn them into regal white trash queens? Aside from the producers of Flava Of Love, of course. (That reference is indicative of me being “with it.”)
Click images for larger sizes. Or sometimes for the same size!
Unless you’re reading the braille version of this here weblog, you’ve probably noticed a new addition to our posts. That’s right: we’ve taken a flying leap into 2006 and added a share on Facebook button. Please use it as liberally as you apply Jergens Ultra to your rampant scrotum psoriasis.
The whole wide world has frozen solid, but following us on Twitter keeps you warm (starting with your genitals).
When I’m not busy thinking of ways to add ‘period face’ to a post, I like to unwind by inventing products that no one thinks they need, but trust me you do. Introducing Fart Stickers. They’re vinyl decals that you can stick anywhere and make it look like anything is farting. And the best part is, all the proceeds go to a charity of your choice*.
*Chad and Nikki’s Break-Even Fund
