When I’m not busy thinking of ways to add ‘period face’ to a post, I like to unwind by inventing products that no one thinks they need, but trust me you do. Introducing Fart Stickers. They’re vinyl decals that you can stick anywhere and make it look like anything is farting. And the best part is, all the proceeds go to a charity of your choice*.

*Chad and Nikki’s Break-Even Fund

Remember to shimmy your skinny asses over to Beauty Bar on Henderson at 7:00 tonight for our 2 year blogiversary happy hour. Bring your dollars and cents because we ain’t payin’ for shit. We hope to not remember seeing you there!

Go vote for us in Apartment Therapy’s Homie Awards. Yeah, you have to register, and yeah it’s annoying. But, ask yourself, do you want to see our boobs or not? Well?

Thanks in advance,
The Badder Girls

P.S. According to Montell Jordan, this is how you do iiiiit…

Click this. Post this: “Name: Badder Homes & Gardens Blog URL: www.badderhomesandgardens.com”

As you may have heard us say over and over and over again, Badder Homes and Gardens is turning two! To celebrate we’re all throwing each other a happy hour - 7 PM Friday, 1/21 at the Beauty Bar on Henderson – and we want to invite you. So please, please come eat snacks, drink pink drinks and celebrate our shared 700+ days of vagina jokes until vomit comes out your mouth. Yay!

It’s official, Badder Homes and Gardens is turning two – thanks to all you lovely and masochistic readers out there. To celebrate I’m throwing Krista a happy hour, Krista is throwing Nikki a happy hour, and Nikki is throwing a happy hour for me.  Oh, and you’re totally all invited to all three! We’ll be conveniently hosting them all the same night at the same place (somewhere in Dallas to be announced very soon). So save the date – Friday 1/21 at 7 pm – and please, please come show us your pretty faces.*

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* Assuming two years of reading our whining hasn’t inspired you to claw your eyes out leaving you horribly scarred.**

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** In which case, you’re not invited.

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Image Via

Sukie makes books without words and I admire that. It’s no “your name on a grain of rice,” but still, it’s something to be celebrated. Warning: There’s a notebook for winners and I have it on good authority (God) that 99.9% of you don’t qualify. Oh, what a wonderful time to re-re-re-re-re-remind you that we have a contest going on. Enter here. Or die.

Halloween just happens to be my favorite holiday. Last year, I was out of town and didn’t really get to enjoy it. So this year I went all out with a house-wide terrification. Photo evidence below.

My dining room was under siege by giant, prehistoric birds (courtesy of a Martha Stewart Living article from a few years back). You might also notice my googly-eyed ghost photos there on the wall.

And here’s my anatomical Jack O’ Lantern in action.

For the boys and ghouls, I made a little Nilbog milk (recipe here).

The rest of the house spent the evening in various forms of infestation. Spiders in the living room…

roaches in the bathroom…

sneaky roaches behind the bathroom mirror…

and rats on the fireplace.

My friend Kristen and I went as The Year 2000.

And my dog Billie went as a Hot Dog. My other dog, Thora, went as a Scared Dog Hiding in the Bathroom. At least she didn’t pee on the rug, which is more than I can say for old wiener, here. I guess someone didn’t like her costume after all.

The computer geeks over at Google Adsense have decided we’re too hot for your computer. Thus, we are officially banned from hosting Google ads until we clean up our acts (so, until infinity). That’s right, dear readers, Google hates your freedom, motorboating, blumpies and tangential anecdotes about dinosaurs. As you can imagine, we are not about to take this lying down (not unless you promise to bring us breakfast in bed and massage our feet). We think there are people on the internet who like both foul-mouthed, fly ladies and buying things. Luckily, it turns out we’re all employed in the advertising business and, in fact, write ads for a living.  Thus we’re thinking we should make our very own ads. Ads worthy of the readers of BHG. Ads written, designed and defiled by us. So, ask yourself: Do I love democracy and boobies and have a need to advertise? If the answer is yes, support BHG and let us hock your rad-ass crap on our blog. Send us an email at admin@badderhomesandgardens.com and let us know you’re interested. We’ll get a price sheet posted as soon as we figure out how to put a value on this much awesome.

I’m home sick with the most swollen throat that ever swolled and pretty much no voice, so therefore I can’t shout from the rooftops about the radassery (bigger and better than radness OR badassery) of being featured on Design Blahg’s Where I Blahg today.

Luckily, I can type it from the rooftops with extra force in my keyboardin’ fingers. Only problem is that every time I cough my ass slides closer to the edge of the roof, and my Sexy Sickness Lingerie keeps getting snagged by the shingles. Not the ones on the roof… my whole body is covered in open sores. BUT I DIGRESS.

Go look at my bedroom (ROWR!) and then spend the rest of your day reading Design Blahg and watching Roseanne marathons on TBS. I know I will!

Hey, dummies, follow us on Twitter or we’re gonna make this lil’ tweeter fist you in the middle of the night.