Thursday, April 21, 2011

Let Them Eat Beef Jerky

Ben Garrett is more talented than you are. Who else could take a gaggle of misfit ho-bags and turn them into regal white trash queens? Aside from the producers of Flava Of Love, of course. (That reference is indicative of me being “with it.”)



Click images for larger sizes. Or sometimes for the same size!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

F This

Unless you’re reading the braille version of this here weblog, you’ve probably noticed a new addition to our posts. That’s right: we’ve taken a flying leap into 2006 and added a share on Facebook button. Please use it as liberally as you apply Jergens Ultra to your rampant scrotum psoriasis.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Cold Cuts

The whole wide world has frozen solid, but following us on Twitter keeps you warm (starting with your genitals).

Thursday, January 27, 2011

You’re Invited

When I’m not busy thinking of ways to add ‘period face’ to a post, I like to unwind by inventing products that no one thinks they need, but trust me you do. Introducing Fart Stickers. They’re vinyl decals that you can stick anywhere and make it look like anything is farting. And the best part is, all the proceeds go to a charity of your choice*.

*Chad and Nikki’s Break-Even Fund

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Terrible Twos

Remember to shimmy your skinny asses over to Beauty Bar on Henderson at 7:00 tonight for our 2 year blogiversary happy hour. Bring your dollars and cents because we ain’t payin’ for shit. We hope to not remember seeing you there!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

NOMINATE US!!!

Go vote for us in Apartment Therapy’s Homie Awards. Yeah, you have to register, and yeah it’s annoying. But, ask yourself, do you want to see our boobs or not? Well?

Thanks in advance,
The Badder Girls

P.S. According to Montell Jordan, this is how you do iiiiit…

Click this. Post this: “Name: Badder Homes & Gardens Blog URL: www.badderhomesandgardens.com”

Monday, January 17, 2011

The BHG 2nd B-Day Bash

As you may have heard us say over and over and over again, Badder Homes and Gardens is turning two! To celebrate we’re all throwing each other a happy hour - 7 PM Friday, 1/21 at the Beauty Bar on Henderson – and we want to invite you. So please, please come eat snacks, drink pink drinks and celebrate our shared 700+ days of vagina jokes until vomit comes out your mouth. Yay!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

It’s Our Party and You’ll Cry If We Want You To

It’s official, Badder Homes and Gardens is turning two – thanks to all you lovely and masochistic readers out there. To celebrate I’m throwing Krista a happy hour, Krista is throwing Nikki a happy hour, and Nikki is throwing a happy hour for me.  Oh, and you’re totally all invited to all three! We’ll be conveniently hosting them all the same night at the same place (somewhere in Dallas to be announced very soon). So save the date – Friday 1/21 at 7 pm – and please, please come show us your pretty faces.*

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* Assuming two years of reading our whining hasn’t inspired you to claw your eyes out leaving you horribly scarred.**

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** In which case, you’re not invited.

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Image Via

Monday, December 6, 2010

See It, Be It

Sukie makes books without words and I admire that. It’s no “your name on a grain of rice,” but still, it’s something to be celebrated. Warning: There’s a notebook for winners and I have it on good authority (God) that 99.9% of you don’t qualify. Oh, what a wonderful time to re-re-re-re-re-remind you that we have a contest going on. Enter here. Or die.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Deco-Rated R (For Rad)

Halloween just happens to be my favorite holiday. Last year, I was out of town and didn’t really get to enjoy it. So this year I went all out with a house-wide terrification. Photo evidence below.

My dining room was under siege by giant, prehistoric birds (courtesy of a Martha Stewart Living article from a few years back). You might also notice my googly-eyed ghost photos there on the wall.

And here’s my anatomical Jack O’ Lantern in action.

For the boys and ghouls, I made a little Nilbog milk (recipe here).

The rest of the house spent the evening in various forms of infestation. Spiders in the living room…

roaches in the bathroom…

sneaky roaches behind the bathroom mirror…

and rats on the fireplace.

My friend Kristen and I went as The Year 2000.

And my dog Billie went as a Hot Dog. My other dog, Thora, went as a Scared Dog Hiding in the Bathroom. At least she didn’t pee on the rug, which is more than I can say for old wiener, here. I guess someone didn’t like her costume after all.


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