Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
It’s been far too long since I’ve demanded things of you, but I’m back!
The Boyfriend’s company, Field Day, is a nominee in the Martha Stewart American Made competition and we can’t think of any good reason for you not to vote for him. Lose your arms to a rabid bear? Make like Stephen Hawking and vote with your face. Don’t own a computer? YOU FUCKING LIAR YOU ARE READING THIS ON A COMPUTER.
The benefit to you is that by clicking this link you can ogle his stupid-hot self and also cast a kindly vote in his direction. As a thank you, I’m putting the tit in gratitude and flashing my laptop in your honor.
Monday, January 7, 2013
These are called wall tears and I suspect it’s because they suck so bad they actually made an inanimate object weep. Hell, even I cried and I’m at least 10% animate. On a good day. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves…
Thursday, December 13, 2012
This lamp puts the “um” in umbilical cord and the FBI wire tap on your landline, and then it puts the “um” on your landline, because who’s still tethered to the wall with a cord? This guy is, my friends. And that’s why it’s called the Circle of Life. (jazz hands.)
Friday, October 5, 2012
Turns out the light’s not at the end of the tunnel… it’s in the corner of your bedroom, right in front of the camera your landlord installed to watch you have sex. Needless to say, he shut off the camera feed long ago and now files your rent checks under “Penis Repeller.”
Friday, September 14, 2012
*It’s sad how proud I am of that.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
So today a friend sent me this print. I needed the name of a famous camel to complete this post so I Googled “famous camels” like any normal human. Well, Google only sort of knew what I meant and sent me “The 40 Most Famous Camel Toes” instead. Go ahead, take a peek. It’s not terrible* at all.
*Exact opposite of not terrible.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Plywerk takes your photos and mounts them on sustainably harvested wood. Hmmm…your face mounted on wood? Sounds like just another Saturday night. And by “your face” I mean this porcupine. He or she is a total slut.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Yep, you need buy this print. And while we’re on the subject of your needs, a mustache wax wouldn’t kill you either.
via Nancy the Desk Topper Drawer