Thursday, July 12, 2012

Oh, Snap! Shot

Nobody puts baby picture in a corner! Well, okay, maybe it it’s this one.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Whack-y

Weird. In this print it takes a a girl, a dog and a wagon to get the same reaction I  usually get from a rusty Venus Embrace.

Like a Candle Up Your End

I was reading Apartment Therapy (don’t get any ideas, you keep reading BHG until you finish the whole site, young lady / man) when I ran across this photo of a candle app. I was like, “This can’t be an actual thing. Someone is making mischief in the Photoshop.” Wrong. I couldn’t be bothered to click through to read the whole article, so I googled it. It’s real. Owning this app should make you a leper. Like saying “OMG” out loud. You should be declared legally dead and escorted by a mourning procession of your friends and family to an isolated colony where you can live out the rest of your days in a cave reading The Bible by your precious candle app. Unclean!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Nailed It!

According to the internet, polydactylism is very rare in celebrities, which I find quite disappointing…

*BEGIN INNER MONOLOGUE*

Fuck, do I go with a disapPOINTing pun or soldier on with my intended, half-baked post idea? On the one hand -

Goddamn it, I did it again! What magical pillow powers does this thing have? Okay, focus and write your first idea, which is decidedly terrible.

*END INNER MONOLOGUE*

According to the internet, polydactylism is very rare in celebrities, which I find quite disappointing. So I vote we cut off Justin Bieber’s weiner and give Regis Philbin a new pinkie.

 

Out to Punch

This is one way to keep your coworkers out of your lunch box. Another way is to fill the lunch box with pirañas. Less practical, but very dramatic. A third way is a decoy lunch laced with ipecac. I find a few hours of violent vomiting really makes an impression.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Alcoholics Not So Anonymous

Sneaking your beer into the stadium using a bad Unibomber costume with a straw sticking out of it? Some people would call that conspicuous. Other people would call it fucking retarded.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Flash Your Headlights

To turn this lamp on, you just shake it’s hand. So, basically, it’s you in lamp form.

Friday, July 6, 2012

$5 Make You Wall-a

Hold on to your black ties, folks, because shit just got CLASSY in here. Wouldn’t this be the perfect way to disguise the Porky’s hole you drilled into the wall of your neighbor’s shower?

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Clip Tip

These towel clips are genius unless you have one of those shitty plastic loungers. But if you do, you’re probably swimming in a septic tank so it’s a lost cause anyway.

Shark, Dolphin and Crab Leg, $16.25

Bitches and Pussies: Hate in an Elevator

A few weeks ago we posted about how Bret Michaels is designing his own pet-wear. It appears that Steven Tyler’s emaciated corpse wants in on that. Well, not S.T.’s corpse, per se, but Puppylocks, makers of fine feather weaves for your pooch. Which is great, because I’d hate for there to be a totally played-out trend that our pets can’t enjoy. And just because, here’s a picture of a 90s cheerleader bow the groomer slapped onto my wolf hybrid. It’s all fun and games until someone gets their face eaten.

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